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Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Chapter 19
Chapter 19
She kissed me. At first I wanted to push her away… but I didn’t, I just kissed her back… her lips were so soft and tasted so sweet-
And then she pulled away
She got up and walked over to the window.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry…” after a while of sitting in awkward silence I decided to leave.
As I walked up to the bus stop at the end of her road I was in a daze. What had I just done? I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, and the next thing I knew I had walked slap-bang into Kyle.
“What are you doing here?” he asked me as I tried to walk away. He grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let go
I stopped struggling and turned around.
“I came to see Jordaine. Why do you care?”
“I was just wondering init… since when do you know Jordaine? You know she’s a bush bumper!” I rolled my eyes…
“Yes I did know, but imagine if I didn’t; you could have just destroyed our friendship. Anyway, can you let go of me now so I can go home.”
“Do you want a lift?” he asked as I started walking off
I turned around and walked back towards him.
“Whatever.”
He unlocked the car and we got in. the last time I sat in this car was when I dumped him :) … memories boyyy!
We both silence as we passed by meaningless faces and places… when we got to the main road there was bare traffic. KMT, now I would have to be with this nigga for longer than I needed to be.
“So how you been then?” Kyle asked. I looked at him
“Since when do you care? You didn’t care when you were having sex with Camilla” I said, turning away to stare out of the window.
Kyle didn’t speak again for about five minutes…
“You didn’t answer my question.”
I kissed my teeth and then I answered
“I’ve been fine I suppose.”
We sat in silence again until he done some loud dirty burp
“You’re fucking disgusting man! What the fuck have you been eating coz that stinks like shit?” I said
He started laughing like it was the joke of the year but I just ignored him
“I’m hungry bruv; you hungry??” he asked. I looked at him with a disgusted look on my face and turned away
“So after doing that burp, you wanna go and eat more food to make you burps stink even more?”
He ignored me and carried on driving. There was a McDonalds coming up; I thought he was gonna pass it, next thing I know he swerved into the Drive-Thru and ordered a LARGE Big Mac meal.
We sat in the car park whilst he ate his food.
“So (chomp, chomp) how you know Jordaine?” he asked
“Why do you care so much; it aint like me and you are even a couple, let alone friends.”
“Well soooryyy for showing an interest-“
“She’s in my dance class.”
“So what you a lesbian now?” he said whilst stuffing food in his mouth
“Are you saying I can't be just friends with her? Are you telling me you don't have any gay or bisexual friends?”
When I said that he nearly choked on his food
“NO! Batty man fi dead” he said while shaking his head
“Trust me; one of your tightest niggas in ten years time you’ll hear that he’s gay”
Eventually the conversation about gay people got deaded and he started some bullshit…
“Can we go now?? I’m getting bored of sitting here”
I hated to admit it, but I’d actually had fun with Kyle. This was probably another reason why our relationship failed – we never really just jammed and cracked jokes
He started the engine and drove out of the car park
“So where we going then?” he asked
“MY HOUSE! Did you forget already?”
“Nah mans just checking init”
He turned onto some one-way, two-lane road and started driving a bit faster coz there was no other cars around.
Just as we went around some bend I clocked there was some woman bent over in the middle of the road
“KYLE!!” He had to swerve to miss her and he nearly crashed into a wall.
I thought everything was fine until… “CRASH!”…
She kissed me. At first I wanted to push her away… but I didn’t, I just kissed her back… her lips were so soft and tasted so sweet-
And then she pulled away
She got up and walked over to the window.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry…” after a while of sitting in awkward silence I decided to leave.
As I walked up to the bus stop at the end of her road I was in a daze. What had I just done? I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, and the next thing I knew I had walked slap-bang into Kyle.
“What are you doing here?” he asked me as I tried to walk away. He grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let go
I stopped struggling and turned around.
“I came to see Jordaine. Why do you care?”
“I was just wondering init… since when do you know Jordaine? You know she’s a bush bumper!” I rolled my eyes…
“Yes I did know, but imagine if I didn’t; you could have just destroyed our friendship. Anyway, can you let go of me now so I can go home.”
“Do you want a lift?” he asked as I started walking off
I turned around and walked back towards him.
“Whatever.”
He unlocked the car and we got in. the last time I sat in this car was when I dumped him :) … memories boyyy!
We both silence as we passed by meaningless faces and places… when we got to the main road there was bare traffic. KMT, now I would have to be with this nigga for longer than I needed to be.
“So how you been then?” Kyle asked. I looked at him
“Since when do you care? You didn’t care when you were having sex with Camilla” I said, turning away to stare out of the window.
Kyle didn’t speak again for about five minutes…
“You didn’t answer my question.”
I kissed my teeth and then I answered
“I’ve been fine I suppose.”
We sat in silence again until he done some loud dirty burp
“You’re fucking disgusting man! What the fuck have you been eating coz that stinks like shit?” I said
He started laughing like it was the joke of the year but I just ignored him
“I’m hungry bruv; you hungry??” he asked. I looked at him with a disgusted look on my face and turned away
“So after doing that burp, you wanna go and eat more food to make you burps stink even more?”
He ignored me and carried on driving. There was a McDonalds coming up; I thought he was gonna pass it, next thing I know he swerved into the Drive-Thru and ordered a LARGE Big Mac meal.
We sat in the car park whilst he ate his food.
“So (chomp, chomp) how you know Jordaine?” he asked
“Why do you care so much; it aint like me and you are even a couple, let alone friends.”
“Well soooryyy for showing an interest-“
“She’s in my dance class.”
“So what you a lesbian now?” he said whilst stuffing food in his mouth
“Are you saying I can't be just friends with her? Are you telling me you don't have any gay or bisexual friends?”
When I said that he nearly choked on his food
“NO! Batty man fi dead” he said while shaking his head
“Trust me; one of your tightest niggas in ten years time you’ll hear that he’s gay”
Eventually the conversation about gay people got deaded and he started some bullshit…
“Can we go now?? I’m getting bored of sitting here”
I hated to admit it, but I’d actually had fun with Kyle. This was probably another reason why our relationship failed – we never really just jammed and cracked jokes
He started the engine and drove out of the car park
“So where we going then?” he asked
“MY HOUSE! Did you forget already?”
“Nah mans just checking init”
He turned onto some one-way, two-lane road and started driving a bit faster coz there was no other cars around.
Just as we went around some bend I clocked there was some woman bent over in the middle of the road
“KYLE!!” He had to swerve to miss her and he nearly crashed into a wall.
I thought everything was fine until… “CRASH!”…
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Chapter 18
Chapter 18
It was my brother Tyrell’s birthday. We were now in March and the Easter holidays were soon coming. A group of us were going TGI’s and then the next day he was having a drink-up. I had no idea who was coming to this drink up, but it was likely Kyle would be there.
I was standing in front of my full length bedroom mirror straightening my fringe (my hair was now Jet black with a purple fringe), and mentally going through my wardrobe.
The doorbell downstairs rang and I had to go and answer it because my mum was out, and Chelsea was still in the shower. It was Meisha and Karina… we went back up to my room where they did their make-up and whatever whilst I finished my hair and settled on an outfit. Black wet look leggings and a grey blazer with a white tee underneath.
After I got dressed we took a few pictures and waited for Chelsea to finish up. Whilst the rest of them were getting gassed over some vodka, I was thinking about the previous Saturday. My gran had forced me and a few people from my dad’s side to go to some Chinese restaurant. At first I thought fair enough, until we got there and we had to sit at a table next to Kyle and his family… it was so gay. Him and his cousins were bare talking about me and shit ¬_¬
Anyways we left my house and jumped a bus to TGI’s (Tyrell had already left to go and meet “someone”)
When we got there no-one was there, so I left the rest of them there and went to buy a nice bottle of Malibu so I could ‘Jamie Foxx’ it tonight…
***Kyle***
I am dreading this TGI’s ting tonight boy, Ciara would probably be there and I didn’t wanna see her coz I’m just gonna be reminded of what I lost. I’ve been feeling bare depressed lately, everyone’s been taking the piss out of me telling me I’m lovesick and shit ¬_¬ lowe it. But I think it’s time I stopped being stupid and I was just honest – I am in love with Ciara, and I’m going to do everything in my power to get her back…
***Ciara***
By the time I got back to TGI Fridays everyone was there. As I walked over to the table I clocked my brother’s friend /Kyle’s cousin Trey screwing me… Skeeeeeeeeen! And what have I done to you for you to be screwing me? I sat down between some random guy and Chelsea and placed my bag under the table and when I looked up Kyle was staring at me, and Trey was still screwing me. I just rolled my eyes and turned away from them.
I don't know why Tyrell even still talks to Kyle he’s such a snake :|
The waiter came over and took our orders and everybody started talking amongst themselves. Our drinks arrived, meaning it was time for me to crack open the Malibu ;) it was kinda dark where we were sitting so I could do it easily and discreetly.
I started talking to the guy next to me; Tyrell’s friend from university. His name was Michael… he was bare safe actually but I could tell he was a humble person…unlike some niggers who was STILL screwing me.
“Tyrell watch out, looks like she’s tryna move to another of your bredrins” said Trey. I looked up at him; all I had done was ask Michael for his BB pin and this foolish goat was talking…
“Do you have something to say? I don't understand moos” I said, slamming my drink down on the table. Tyrell was just sitting there as well; he wasn’t even tryna back me up. Well fuck him; I can fight my own battles
“Alowe yourself younger. Learn to respect your elders love”
“I don't respect people who disrespect me, and I also don’t respect animals – especially ones that look and smell like you.”
I got up and walked away from the table, to the toilets. I went into the toilets and stood in front of the mirror. What was I tryna prove with this little front? I wasn’t fooling anybody; inside I was hurting – really bad as well.
I wiped the tears off of my face and looked in the mirror. I looked like shit but I didn’t care. I brushed my hair up into a ponytail and smiled at myself in the mirror. I went back to the table and sat down quietly without looking at or speaking to anyone.
I looked at my phone; I had a text from my friend Jordaine. Me and her had become really tight recently; we’d both been through a lot of shit in the past few months. She was bisexual though, so her relationship was kinda different coz it was with a chick… but whatever. She had just seen her ex with a new girl… I guess no matter what sex a person is, it still hurts when they hurt you…
***
The next day I went to Jordaine’s house… she lived down the road from Kyle unfortunately but I didn’t see him on my way.
We were sitting on her sofa and she was telling me about what happened with her ex and when she saw her.
“You’re so lucky Ciara, you already knew what you wanted, whereas I’m just fucking confused. Stupid people!”
“Ermm… darling are you talking about males or females?” I asked her
“Both!” we started laughing…
It was nice having a friend who actually knows what you’re going through… all my other friends were just like get over it, shit happens. But you can't relate until it happens to you. Jordaine was the only person in the whole world I knew I’d had an abortion, we told each other everything now…
She came back from the kitchen with two plates and a tray loaded with food and a bottle of Jack Daniels :)
She sat down next to me (I was laying down on her bed) and put the tray and plates down. She sighed. I sat up and put my arm around her…
“What’s wrong love?” she sighed again and looked up at me. She was staring into my eyes as if something was wrong with her. She put her head on my should and closed her eyes. I could feel her getting closer and closer to me and then she lifted up her head and her face got closer and closer to mine…
It was my brother Tyrell’s birthday. We were now in March and the Easter holidays were soon coming. A group of us were going TGI’s and then the next day he was having a drink-up. I had no idea who was coming to this drink up, but it was likely Kyle would be there.
I was standing in front of my full length bedroom mirror straightening my fringe (my hair was now Jet black with a purple fringe), and mentally going through my wardrobe.
The doorbell downstairs rang and I had to go and answer it because my mum was out, and Chelsea was still in the shower. It was Meisha and Karina… we went back up to my room where they did their make-up and whatever whilst I finished my hair and settled on an outfit. Black wet look leggings and a grey blazer with a white tee underneath.
After I got dressed we took a few pictures and waited for Chelsea to finish up. Whilst the rest of them were getting gassed over some vodka, I was thinking about the previous Saturday. My gran had forced me and a few people from my dad’s side to go to some Chinese restaurant. At first I thought fair enough, until we got there and we had to sit at a table next to Kyle and his family… it was so gay. Him and his cousins were bare talking about me and shit ¬_¬
Anyways we left my house and jumped a bus to TGI’s (Tyrell had already left to go and meet “someone”)
When we got there no-one was there, so I left the rest of them there and went to buy a nice bottle of Malibu so I could ‘Jamie Foxx’ it tonight…
***Kyle***
I am dreading this TGI’s ting tonight boy, Ciara would probably be there and I didn’t wanna see her coz I’m just gonna be reminded of what I lost. I’ve been feeling bare depressed lately, everyone’s been taking the piss out of me telling me I’m lovesick and shit ¬_¬ lowe it. But I think it’s time I stopped being stupid and I was just honest – I am in love with Ciara, and I’m going to do everything in my power to get her back…
***Ciara***
By the time I got back to TGI Fridays everyone was there. As I walked over to the table I clocked my brother’s friend /Kyle’s cousin Trey screwing me… Skeeeeeeeeen! And what have I done to you for you to be screwing me? I sat down between some random guy and Chelsea and placed my bag under the table and when I looked up Kyle was staring at me, and Trey was still screwing me. I just rolled my eyes and turned away from them.
I don't know why Tyrell even still talks to Kyle he’s such a snake :|
The waiter came over and took our orders and everybody started talking amongst themselves. Our drinks arrived, meaning it was time for me to crack open the Malibu ;) it was kinda dark where we were sitting so I could do it easily and discreetly.
I started talking to the guy next to me; Tyrell’s friend from university. His name was Michael… he was bare safe actually but I could tell he was a humble person…unlike some niggers who was STILL screwing me.
“Tyrell watch out, looks like she’s tryna move to another of your bredrins” said Trey. I looked up at him; all I had done was ask Michael for his BB pin and this foolish goat was talking…
“Do you have something to say? I don't understand moos” I said, slamming my drink down on the table. Tyrell was just sitting there as well; he wasn’t even tryna back me up. Well fuck him; I can fight my own battles
“Alowe yourself younger. Learn to respect your elders love”
“I don't respect people who disrespect me, and I also don’t respect animals – especially ones that look and smell like you.”
I got up and walked away from the table, to the toilets. I went into the toilets and stood in front of the mirror. What was I tryna prove with this little front? I wasn’t fooling anybody; inside I was hurting – really bad as well.
I wiped the tears off of my face and looked in the mirror. I looked like shit but I didn’t care. I brushed my hair up into a ponytail and smiled at myself in the mirror. I went back to the table and sat down quietly without looking at or speaking to anyone.
I looked at my phone; I had a text from my friend Jordaine. Me and her had become really tight recently; we’d both been through a lot of shit in the past few months. She was bisexual though, so her relationship was kinda different coz it was with a chick… but whatever. She had just seen her ex with a new girl… I guess no matter what sex a person is, it still hurts when they hurt you…
***
The next day I went to Jordaine’s house… she lived down the road from Kyle unfortunately but I didn’t see him on my way.
We were sitting on her sofa and she was telling me about what happened with her ex and when she saw her.
“You’re so lucky Ciara, you already knew what you wanted, whereas I’m just fucking confused. Stupid people!”
“Ermm… darling are you talking about males or females?” I asked her
“Both!” we started laughing…
It was nice having a friend who actually knows what you’re going through… all my other friends were just like get over it, shit happens. But you can't relate until it happens to you. Jordaine was the only person in the whole world I knew I’d had an abortion, we told each other everything now…
She came back from the kitchen with two plates and a tray loaded with food and a bottle of Jack Daniels :)
She sat down next to me (I was laying down on her bed) and put the tray and plates down. She sighed. I sat up and put my arm around her…
“What’s wrong love?” she sighed again and looked up at me. She was staring into my eyes as if something was wrong with her. She put her head on my should and closed her eyes. I could feel her getting closer and closer to me and then she lifted up her head and her face got closer and closer to mine…
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Chapter 17
Chapter 17
I hadn’t seen Kyle since the day I dumped him. I knew I wouldn’t, I had no reason to – Tyrell was away at uni and I obviously hadn’t made plans to see him. I had totally changed up my life. Although I hadn’t told anyone about the abortion, everyone had noticed changes in me. I had put on some weight, and dyed my hair blonde – kinda like Beyonce’s colour, but I was planning to dye it jet black soon.
I had just woken up on a Friday morning; it was around 6:30. I picked up my Blackberry, which was flashing and saw that someone had pinged me while I had been sleeping. It was my godsister, Karina, asking me if I was still coming to some drink-up that evening. I replied saying yes and jumped in the shower after brushing my teeth.
**
Me, Rianna, Karina and Meisha were jamming in some house in Brixton. None of us were impressed with the people there… we had basically followed Rianna to her man’s bredrins house. Us three were sitting their screwfacing like mad, while Rianna was all over her man.
The doorbell rang and I heard bare deep voices. Coz I was busy pinging someone I was ready to punch Karina when she pinched my arm. When I looked at her, her face was like she saw a ghost. Kyle had just walked in with some boys.
I had totally forgotten that Bradley and Kyle were friends… fucking hell man!
Meisha stood up and picked up my bag.
“Rianna… come we’re going.” I said as we got to the living room door
Rianna looked up at me like she didn’t wanna move from her seat…
“ermm… you lot go ahead, I’ll catch you up.”
“Listen yeah, I’m not waiting around in the cold, so either come now or come alone.”
I turned and walked out of the room slamming the front door behind me.
“She aint coming.” I said to Meisha and Karina, who were waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
We walked down to the tube station and jumped on a tube to Balham, and then a train back to their ends.
When we got to the platform at Balham station there was a bag of mandem standing there waiting. I really hoped they wouldn’t say anything to us, or get on the same train as us coz I really weren’t in the mood for man.
“The train now approaching Platform One is the 23:51 southern service to West Croydon. This train is the service from London Victoria.”
**
It was now 2am. We were jamming on Rina’s bed, eating Chinese and drinkin some Malibu and Coke. Meisha went over to the window and sat on the edge whilst lighting up a spliff. We passed it around slowly, none of us wanting to share.
This was the life boy, jamming with my girls, eating, drinking and getting high.
Around 4, Rianna decided it would be fun to show up.
“You snake Rianna… why did you stay by yourself?” said Karina
“Coz I wanted to talk Kyle about Ciara…” she looked at me but I just turned away
“Ciara… you know he still likes you.”
“Rianna… you’re lucky it’s four in the fucking morning and I’m high coz otherwise I’d wileing out right about now. I don’t give a fuck about Kyle and what he wants, why should I?”
I turned away from her and closed my eyes.
The next morning we all (minus Rianna and plus Jadey, some girl from my college who K & M knew as well) went shopping. I was trying to give myself a whole new look; I was sick of my life and wanted to change everything about it.
My dad had put my monthly allowance into my bank account so I just paid for everything by card. Boy, you should have seen the amount of bags we left that shopping centre with.
After my mum picked up from Karina’s house we went out to dinner at Pizza Hut.
“You know you’re gran’s coming to London for Easter? Well you’re dad claims she wants to stay with US for some odd reason…”
I started laughing when my mum said that. Why did my ‘grandmother’ (my dad’s mum) wanna stay with me and my mum? Apparently she had never liked my mum because she’s not black. That’s rich coming from a woman who had all her kids with a mixed race man (my granddad) and a quarter-cast man (Monifa’s granddad).
Before we left I ran to go to the toilet… as I came out of the women’s toilets some boy/man was standing outside the men’s. He smiled at me, so I smiled back and started walking
“You have a really nice smile you know” he said. I turned around coz I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me.
“Are you talking to me??” I asked him. He nodded “thanks.” I turned and walked out of the little corridor back to the main restaurant and out to the car park where my mum was waiting.
When we got home I tried on my new clothes, making sure they actually fitted and then put them in my basket to get washed. I opened my bedroom window and put some dirty clothes under the door – then I lit up the spliff Meisha had given me.
Good times… from now on, my life was going to be all about me, my family and nobody else.
I hadn’t seen Kyle since the day I dumped him. I knew I wouldn’t, I had no reason to – Tyrell was away at uni and I obviously hadn’t made plans to see him. I had totally changed up my life. Although I hadn’t told anyone about the abortion, everyone had noticed changes in me. I had put on some weight, and dyed my hair blonde – kinda like Beyonce’s colour, but I was planning to dye it jet black soon.
I had just woken up on a Friday morning; it was around 6:30. I picked up my Blackberry, which was flashing and saw that someone had pinged me while I had been sleeping. It was my godsister, Karina, asking me if I was still coming to some drink-up that evening. I replied saying yes and jumped in the shower after brushing my teeth.
**
Me, Rianna, Karina and Meisha were jamming in some house in Brixton. None of us were impressed with the people there… we had basically followed Rianna to her man’s bredrins house. Us three were sitting their screwfacing like mad, while Rianna was all over her man.
The doorbell rang and I heard bare deep voices. Coz I was busy pinging someone I was ready to punch Karina when she pinched my arm. When I looked at her, her face was like she saw a ghost. Kyle had just walked in with some boys.
I had totally forgotten that Bradley and Kyle were friends… fucking hell man!
Meisha stood up and picked up my bag.
“Rianna… come we’re going.” I said as we got to the living room door
Rianna looked up at me like she didn’t wanna move from her seat…
“ermm… you lot go ahead, I’ll catch you up.”
“Listen yeah, I’m not waiting around in the cold, so either come now or come alone.”
I turned and walked out of the room slamming the front door behind me.
“She aint coming.” I said to Meisha and Karina, who were waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
We walked down to the tube station and jumped on a tube to Balham, and then a train back to their ends.
When we got to the platform at Balham station there was a bag of mandem standing there waiting. I really hoped they wouldn’t say anything to us, or get on the same train as us coz I really weren’t in the mood for man.
“The train now approaching Platform One is the 23:51 southern service to West Croydon. This train is the service from London Victoria.”
**
It was now 2am. We were jamming on Rina’s bed, eating Chinese and drinkin some Malibu and Coke. Meisha went over to the window and sat on the edge whilst lighting up a spliff. We passed it around slowly, none of us wanting to share.
This was the life boy, jamming with my girls, eating, drinking and getting high.
Around 4, Rianna decided it would be fun to show up.
“You snake Rianna… why did you stay by yourself?” said Karina
“Coz I wanted to talk Kyle about Ciara…” she looked at me but I just turned away
“Ciara… you know he still likes you.”
“Rianna… you’re lucky it’s four in the fucking morning and I’m high coz otherwise I’d wileing out right about now. I don’t give a fuck about Kyle and what he wants, why should I?”
I turned away from her and closed my eyes.
The next morning we all (minus Rianna and plus Jadey, some girl from my college who K & M knew as well) went shopping. I was trying to give myself a whole new look; I was sick of my life and wanted to change everything about it.
My dad had put my monthly allowance into my bank account so I just paid for everything by card. Boy, you should have seen the amount of bags we left that shopping centre with.
After my mum picked up from Karina’s house we went out to dinner at Pizza Hut.
“You know you’re gran’s coming to London for Easter? Well you’re dad claims she wants to stay with US for some odd reason…”
I started laughing when my mum said that. Why did my ‘grandmother’ (my dad’s mum) wanna stay with me and my mum? Apparently she had never liked my mum because she’s not black. That’s rich coming from a woman who had all her kids with a mixed race man (my granddad) and a quarter-cast man (Monifa’s granddad).
Before we left I ran to go to the toilet… as I came out of the women’s toilets some boy/man was standing outside the men’s. He smiled at me, so I smiled back and started walking
“You have a really nice smile you know” he said. I turned around coz I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me.
“Are you talking to me??” I asked him. He nodded “thanks.” I turned and walked out of the little corridor back to the main restaurant and out to the car park where my mum was waiting.
When we got home I tried on my new clothes, making sure they actually fitted and then put them in my basket to get washed. I opened my bedroom window and put some dirty clothes under the door – then I lit up the spliff Meisha had given me.
Good times… from now on, my life was going to be all about me, my family and nobody else.
Friday, 16 April 2010
Chapter 16
Chapter 16
Kyle grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I don't know why but I squeezed back
“It’s positive.” My face dropped and I could feel tears in my eyes.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone for a while. When I come back we can discuss what your next move will be.”
I put my head down between my legs and kept it there for a while. I didn’t know what to do, but all I knew was my life was either way my life was gonna be ruined. If I had an abortion, I would feel like shit for the rest of my life. If I kept it, my mum would beat the black out of me.
“What do you wanna do then?” I kept quiet for a bit and then sat up
“I don't know.” I sat there hugging myself whilst staring into space. I looked over at him.
“What do you wanna do?” I asked him. We were both in the predicament, but I was gonna get the short straw no matter what happened.
“Well it aint really up to me, it’s up to you. It’s your body init…”
“Err hello! It’s your child as well, I’m not gonna make a decision for you to hold it against me for the rest of our lives.”
He paused; as if he didn’t wanna say what he was gonna say
“I think we should get rid of it. I mean, you’re still young; you’re in college and shit. And we both know your mum won't be happy about this.”
He was right, but I didn’t wanna just go along with what he was saying; I’m not a dickhead.
After ten more minutes of silence the nurse came back.
“Have you decided??”
I nodded. I looked at Kyle. He nodded as well
“I’m going to have an abortion.” I stated without any emotion.
The nurse nodded and started talking about stuff. She said I was just over nine weeks pregnant, which meant that I couldn't just take a pill and go home, I had to have it sucked out of me. She talked about everything that was gonna happen but I wasn’t really paying attention. She made an appointment for Monday – which was only two days away, coz I just wanted to get it done.
We left the clinic about twenty minutes later and Kyle dropped me home. The next two days were going to be very long…
***
I woke up really early on Monday morning. I had been tossing and turning all night…
My appointment was at 1:30 and the time was 8am. I started college late on Mondays, so I got dressed like normal, in a plain black Adidas adicolours tracksuit.
My mum had already left so I tried to jam in front of the TV for a bit, but I honestly couldn't concentrate. I left my house around 12 to meet Kyle at the clinic… as I walked to the bus stop I felt as if I was walking to my death. I felt like I was walking around in a daze.
Before the abortion could actually happen we had to go and talk to that stupid nurse again. She was chatting some nonsense about contraception for after the abortion. You should have seen the dirty screw she received from me.
She took me into some room and gave me one of those gowns to put on, she also told me to take my knickers off.
The nurse came back with a doctor who explained what was gonna happen as if I didn’t already know. They left the room and Kyle came in.
“You know you can't stay in here…?” I asked him, it was a bit obvious mate
“Yeah… I just wanted to say something. I know you probably hate me, I don't blame you though; it’s my own stupid fault… but I wanna change – I’m gonna change. For you.” He said, and then walked out of the room before I could respond.
***
The next thing I knew, I was lying in some room where there was like two other beds. The girl laying on the bed next to me was crying. At first I was confused – I thought maybe I was in hospital…until I remembered where I really was, and what I’d just done.
As I realised that my life was never gonna be the same I started crying.
After I had been awake for about 45 mins a nurse came in to check on us. She helped the other girl to get dressed and then took her out of the room. She came back in and started talking to me. She brought me a glass of water and said she would come back later.
About half an hour later I was lying on the back seat of Kyle’s car. It wasn’t the same car that he was ‘looking after’ or whatever bullshit he said, it was a different one. Yeah, so I was laying on the backseat trying to ignore the stupid pains in my belly, it was like I was being haunted by the ghost of my unborn child. We were sitting in the car park of Asda, literally just sitting there. Neither of us was speaking it was really awkward.
“Are you OK?” I asked Kyle
He turned and looked at me like he hadn’t even clocked I was there.
He nodded and then coughed
“Do you wanna go home now or…?”
I said yeah and climbed into the front seat.
We pulled up in front of my house and he turned off the engine.
“So wa gwarn then?” he asked… I had no idea what he was talking about
“With what??”
“Us… wa gwarn with us?”
I rolled my eyes. I just fucking killed off my child and this prick is here chatting shit about “us”
“There is no us, Kyle. I think it’s time I made myself clear – I can’t be with you; you cheated on me with someone I thought was a friend. There’s nothing keeping us together anymore, I’ve had an abortion nothing ties us together anymore.” I said, and then I opened the door and got out of the car.
He got out as well.
“What the fuck, Ciara? How you gonna end it like that?” he followed me as I walked to my front door
“Darling, you ended it the moment you put your stuff in that bitch.”
I unlocked my front door and walked in, slamming the door in his face.
I leaned against the door and took a deep breath. It was finally over.
I went straight to my laptop and logged on to Facebook – I updated my relationship status to ‘Single’ and went through my friends’ list deleting Kyle, Rachel, Kellie and anyone else I didn’t know before I got with him. Technically I already knew Kellie but I didn’t like her anyway.
It felt like I could finally breathe again.
Kyle grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I don't know why but I squeezed back
“It’s positive.” My face dropped and I could feel tears in my eyes.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone for a while. When I come back we can discuss what your next move will be.”
I put my head down between my legs and kept it there for a while. I didn’t know what to do, but all I knew was my life was either way my life was gonna be ruined. If I had an abortion, I would feel like shit for the rest of my life. If I kept it, my mum would beat the black out of me.
“What do you wanna do then?” I kept quiet for a bit and then sat up
“I don't know.” I sat there hugging myself whilst staring into space. I looked over at him.
“What do you wanna do?” I asked him. We were both in the predicament, but I was gonna get the short straw no matter what happened.
“Well it aint really up to me, it’s up to you. It’s your body init…”
“Err hello! It’s your child as well, I’m not gonna make a decision for you to hold it against me for the rest of our lives.”
He paused; as if he didn’t wanna say what he was gonna say
“I think we should get rid of it. I mean, you’re still young; you’re in college and shit. And we both know your mum won't be happy about this.”
He was right, but I didn’t wanna just go along with what he was saying; I’m not a dickhead.
After ten more minutes of silence the nurse came back.
“Have you decided??”
I nodded. I looked at Kyle. He nodded as well
“I’m going to have an abortion.” I stated without any emotion.
The nurse nodded and started talking about stuff. She said I was just over nine weeks pregnant, which meant that I couldn't just take a pill and go home, I had to have it sucked out of me. She talked about everything that was gonna happen but I wasn’t really paying attention. She made an appointment for Monday – which was only two days away, coz I just wanted to get it done.
We left the clinic about twenty minutes later and Kyle dropped me home. The next two days were going to be very long…
***
I woke up really early on Monday morning. I had been tossing and turning all night…
My appointment was at 1:30 and the time was 8am. I started college late on Mondays, so I got dressed like normal, in a plain black Adidas adicolours tracksuit.
My mum had already left so I tried to jam in front of the TV for a bit, but I honestly couldn't concentrate. I left my house around 12 to meet Kyle at the clinic… as I walked to the bus stop I felt as if I was walking to my death. I felt like I was walking around in a daze.
Before the abortion could actually happen we had to go and talk to that stupid nurse again. She was chatting some nonsense about contraception for after the abortion. You should have seen the dirty screw she received from me.
She took me into some room and gave me one of those gowns to put on, she also told me to take my knickers off.
The nurse came back with a doctor who explained what was gonna happen as if I didn’t already know. They left the room and Kyle came in.
“You know you can't stay in here…?” I asked him, it was a bit obvious mate
“Yeah… I just wanted to say something. I know you probably hate me, I don't blame you though; it’s my own stupid fault… but I wanna change – I’m gonna change. For you.” He said, and then walked out of the room before I could respond.
***
The next thing I knew, I was lying in some room where there was like two other beds. The girl laying on the bed next to me was crying. At first I was confused – I thought maybe I was in hospital…until I remembered where I really was, and what I’d just done.
As I realised that my life was never gonna be the same I started crying.
After I had been awake for about 45 mins a nurse came in to check on us. She helped the other girl to get dressed and then took her out of the room. She came back in and started talking to me. She brought me a glass of water and said she would come back later.
About half an hour later I was lying on the back seat of Kyle’s car. It wasn’t the same car that he was ‘looking after’ or whatever bullshit he said, it was a different one. Yeah, so I was laying on the backseat trying to ignore the stupid pains in my belly, it was like I was being haunted by the ghost of my unborn child. We were sitting in the car park of Asda, literally just sitting there. Neither of us was speaking it was really awkward.
“Are you OK?” I asked Kyle
He turned and looked at me like he hadn’t even clocked I was there.
He nodded and then coughed
“Do you wanna go home now or…?”
I said yeah and climbed into the front seat.
We pulled up in front of my house and he turned off the engine.
“So wa gwarn then?” he asked… I had no idea what he was talking about
“With what??”
“Us… wa gwarn with us?”
I rolled my eyes. I just fucking killed off my child and this prick is here chatting shit about “us”
“There is no us, Kyle. I think it’s time I made myself clear – I can’t be with you; you cheated on me with someone I thought was a friend. There’s nothing keeping us together anymore, I’ve had an abortion nothing ties us together anymore.” I said, and then I opened the door and got out of the car.
He got out as well.
“What the fuck, Ciara? How you gonna end it like that?” he followed me as I walked to my front door
“Darling, you ended it the moment you put your stuff in that bitch.”
I unlocked my front door and walked in, slamming the door in his face.
I leaned against the door and took a deep breath. It was finally over.
I went straight to my laptop and logged on to Facebook – I updated my relationship status to ‘Single’ and went through my friends’ list deleting Kyle, Rachel, Kellie and anyone else I didn’t know before I got with him. Technically I already knew Kellie but I didn’t like her anyway.
It felt like I could finally breathe again.
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
Chapter 15
Chapter 15
A few weeks had passed since New Years Eve. Camilla’s mum try call me up on a hype, but in the end nothing happened, coz I told her the truth about why we fucked her up.
I had only seen Kyle once since NYE, but just in passing. We didn’t speak. He still tries calling me occasionally but I never answer.
I was lying in my bed one Saturday morning, a week before Kyle’s birthday. I was on Facebook on my laptop. I had just reactivated my account, so I was just browsing through, seeing if anything interesting had happened. I had deleted Camilla from my Facebook on New Years Day, and it looked like she had deactivated her account as well.
I went on Kyle’s page, looking through seeing what hoes had been writing on his wall. I was still listed as in a relationship with him, but only because we still hadn’t officially broken up.
Most of his recent statuses were about football or music. But then I noticed there was one from the night before, something about wishing he had a time machine…
All of a sudden I felt a twinge in my tummy and I was feeling bare dizzy. I threw my laptop across the bed and stood up.
The room started spinning… and then it came. The vomit
I managed to get it all over myself and on the carpet as well… eww! I waited for the pain to go away and then I stood up. Feeling much better. I went into the bathroom and filled the bath with hot water and threw my pyjamas (which were actually one of Kyle’s tops and a pair of shorts) into it.
I went back to my room with some cleaning stuff and tried to clean the vomit. The smell was nasty, and was making me wanna vomit again. After I finished I sat down on the bed again.
I picked up my laptop and changed my status to: ‘someone please tell me why I’ve got vomit all over myself :(‘
As if by magic, five minutes later my phone started ringing, with the name Dickhead flashing. It was Kyle.
“What??”
“You allrite??” he asked, he sounded bare concerned
“Why do you care? It’s not like you cared about me when you were fucking other girls.”
He went silent, and then he cleared his throat
“You know I’m sorry… but it’s up to you if you’re gonna forgive me or not”
This nigga was really tryna guilt trip me. I was about to respond when I felt vomit rising up in my chest. This time I made it to the toilet and I was sick like three times.
I hung up the phone and got in the shower. I was in there for time; I felt like the vomit was spread all over my body. As I came out of the shower, I heard the doorbell ringing. I went into my room and put on my dressing gown. The doorbell rang again as I was running down to open the door.
I opened the door without asking who it was and was surprised to see Kyle standing there.
“Why are you here, Kyle?? Can you just leave me alone please, I just wanna be alone.”
I turned and looked in the mirror on the wall. I looked bare ill; my skin was bare pale and I had started getting bare spots.
“You look really sick Ciara… I was worried about you init, that’s why I came here.” He grabbed my arm and led me over to the stairs.
After he sat me down, he say down as well and put his arm around me. We sat in silence for what seemed like years until Kyle decided to speak.
“What do you think is wrong with you?” he asked cautiously, as if he thought I would stab him just for talking.
I didn’t much feel like talking, so I just shrugged. I really didn’t know, and I didn’t wanna know.
“Well…I have an idea, but I dunno…” he paused, waiting for me to speak
“What’s the idea?” deep down in my stomach I knew what he was about to say but I didn’t wanna hear it
He cleared his throat, and then spoke
“You could be pregnant”
I sat in silence for a bit. I knew he was gonna say that, but it still made my stomach start knotting up. If I was pregnant this would be the end of my life. My mum would definitely kick me out, my dad would probably want to kill Kyle and as for my brothers… lets just say there would definitely be a funeral.
I got dressed and we went to the clinic near his house, to get a pregnancy test done. We didn’t speak for the whole journey, and for the whole time we were waiting to be seen.
When we sat down in front of the nurse, Kyle grabbed my hand and tried to hold it but I just pushed it away and folded my arms across my chest. The nurse looked at me, and then looked him. She could probably sense the tension between us, but didn’t say anything.
“So you want a pregnancy test, right?” she asked, like a dumb prick.
“That’s exactly what I wrote on the form that I filled in.” I rolled my eyes as I answered
“Ah, right. Yes you did. Well what makes you think you’re pregnant?”
“Listen yeah; I haven’t got the patience for this. I came here for a test, not for 21 million questions!”
She went silent, like she was counting to ten in her mind, and then she spoke
“Sorry, its just my job to know the details. Anyway, the toilet’s at the end of the hallway.” She smiled, as she handed me the test.
I took the test and started walking out of the room.
As I was about to open the door I heard the nurse speak.
“Aren’t you going with her?” she was obviously talking to Kyle.
I turned around and he was looking at me.
“Stay here” I said and walked out to the toilet.
I laid some tissue down on the seat, and sat down. After doing the test, I washed my hands and went back to the room.
I handed the test to the nurse and she put it down on her desk
“Well, it’s gonna take a few minutes for the results to show up. So how long have the two of you been together?” this woman was still smiling. She was so fucking inna, I wanted to punch her
Kyle answered for me
“Ermm… about six months.” when he said that I looked at him. He looked at me, holding eye contact. I rolled my eyes and turned away.
We all sat in silence for a bit and then she picked up the test. She looked at the test and then looked at us.
“Are you ready to hear the results now?”
...
A few weeks had passed since New Years Eve. Camilla’s mum try call me up on a hype, but in the end nothing happened, coz I told her the truth about why we fucked her up.
I had only seen Kyle once since NYE, but just in passing. We didn’t speak. He still tries calling me occasionally but I never answer.
I was lying in my bed one Saturday morning, a week before Kyle’s birthday. I was on Facebook on my laptop. I had just reactivated my account, so I was just browsing through, seeing if anything interesting had happened. I had deleted Camilla from my Facebook on New Years Day, and it looked like she had deactivated her account as well.
I went on Kyle’s page, looking through seeing what hoes had been writing on his wall. I was still listed as in a relationship with him, but only because we still hadn’t officially broken up.
Most of his recent statuses were about football or music. But then I noticed there was one from the night before, something about wishing he had a time machine…
All of a sudden I felt a twinge in my tummy and I was feeling bare dizzy. I threw my laptop across the bed and stood up.
The room started spinning… and then it came. The vomit
I managed to get it all over myself and on the carpet as well… eww! I waited for the pain to go away and then I stood up. Feeling much better. I went into the bathroom and filled the bath with hot water and threw my pyjamas (which were actually one of Kyle’s tops and a pair of shorts) into it.
I went back to my room with some cleaning stuff and tried to clean the vomit. The smell was nasty, and was making me wanna vomit again. After I finished I sat down on the bed again.
I picked up my laptop and changed my status to: ‘someone please tell me why I’ve got vomit all over myself :(‘
As if by magic, five minutes later my phone started ringing, with the name Dickhead flashing. It was Kyle.
“What??”
“You allrite??” he asked, he sounded bare concerned
“Why do you care? It’s not like you cared about me when you were fucking other girls.”
He went silent, and then he cleared his throat
“You know I’m sorry… but it’s up to you if you’re gonna forgive me or not”
This nigga was really tryna guilt trip me. I was about to respond when I felt vomit rising up in my chest. This time I made it to the toilet and I was sick like three times.
I hung up the phone and got in the shower. I was in there for time; I felt like the vomit was spread all over my body. As I came out of the shower, I heard the doorbell ringing. I went into my room and put on my dressing gown. The doorbell rang again as I was running down to open the door.
I opened the door without asking who it was and was surprised to see Kyle standing there.
“Why are you here, Kyle?? Can you just leave me alone please, I just wanna be alone.”
I turned and looked in the mirror on the wall. I looked bare ill; my skin was bare pale and I had started getting bare spots.
“You look really sick Ciara… I was worried about you init, that’s why I came here.” He grabbed my arm and led me over to the stairs.
After he sat me down, he say down as well and put his arm around me. We sat in silence for what seemed like years until Kyle decided to speak.
“What do you think is wrong with you?” he asked cautiously, as if he thought I would stab him just for talking.
I didn’t much feel like talking, so I just shrugged. I really didn’t know, and I didn’t wanna know.
“Well…I have an idea, but I dunno…” he paused, waiting for me to speak
“What’s the idea?” deep down in my stomach I knew what he was about to say but I didn’t wanna hear it
He cleared his throat, and then spoke
“You could be pregnant”
I sat in silence for a bit. I knew he was gonna say that, but it still made my stomach start knotting up. If I was pregnant this would be the end of my life. My mum would definitely kick me out, my dad would probably want to kill Kyle and as for my brothers… lets just say there would definitely be a funeral.
I got dressed and we went to the clinic near his house, to get a pregnancy test done. We didn’t speak for the whole journey, and for the whole time we were waiting to be seen.
When we sat down in front of the nurse, Kyle grabbed my hand and tried to hold it but I just pushed it away and folded my arms across my chest. The nurse looked at me, and then looked him. She could probably sense the tension between us, but didn’t say anything.
“So you want a pregnancy test, right?” she asked, like a dumb prick.
“That’s exactly what I wrote on the form that I filled in.” I rolled my eyes as I answered
“Ah, right. Yes you did. Well what makes you think you’re pregnant?”
“Listen yeah; I haven’t got the patience for this. I came here for a test, not for 21 million questions!”
She went silent, like she was counting to ten in her mind, and then she spoke
“Sorry, its just my job to know the details. Anyway, the toilet’s at the end of the hallway.” She smiled, as she handed me the test.
I took the test and started walking out of the room.
As I was about to open the door I heard the nurse speak.
“Aren’t you going with her?” she was obviously talking to Kyle.
I turned around and he was looking at me.
“Stay here” I said and walked out to the toilet.
I laid some tissue down on the seat, and sat down. After doing the test, I washed my hands and went back to the room.
I handed the test to the nurse and she put it down on her desk
“Well, it’s gonna take a few minutes for the results to show up. So how long have the two of you been together?” this woman was still smiling. She was so fucking inna, I wanted to punch her
Kyle answered for me
“Ermm… about six months.” when he said that I looked at him. He looked at me, holding eye contact. I rolled my eyes and turned away.
We all sat in silence for a bit and then she picked up the test. She looked at the test and then looked at us.
“Are you ready to hear the results now?”
...
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Chapter 14 - Part 2
Chapter 14
“TEN. NINE. EIGHT. SEVEN. SIX. FIVE. FOUR. THREE. TWO. ONE. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!”
Everyone in the club started screaming and cheering and bare people were kissing. Lowe it.
The music came back on and we headed over to the dancefloor. As we descended the stairs leading to the dancefloor, something told me to look at the doors. Just as I did I noticed Kyle walking in with a bag of mandem, and then behind them was … Camilla and her friend Vitalija.
So much for it didn’t mean anything, and me being the one he loves … dead.
As soon as the bashment started pumping I started moving my batty, hoping that dancing would help me forget the pain. Well at least she didn’t come with back up, and I knew it was unlikely that Vitalija would back her up. I felt someone come behind me and started holding my hips whilst grindin on my bum.
After a while I moved away from the guy and me, Maria, Stephanie and Meisha jumped on some tables and started dancing like some any strippers.
The rest of our group had gone back up to the little bar/seating section so we went back to them. Unfortunately, sitting at the next table was Kyle, Camilla and the rest. I didn’t even acknowledge that I saw them before I sat down.
I got up to go the toilet and as I walked past Kyle’s table I noticed Camilla kissing up on his neck and shit while he tried to push her off. FUNNAYY!
When I came out of the toilets, Kyle’s friend Derome was standing there.
“What’s going on with you and Kyle fam??” he still had to shout even though we weren’t in the main area the music was still loud.
“Ask him, he’s your bredrin.” I was about to walk off but he grabbed my arm
“So you’re telling me that you don’t business that there’s some girl all over your man out there. Coz even if you don't care its making you look like some any prick.”
Derome was right. We hadn’t officially broken up, so technically I could still tell this bitch to step off.
Derome led me out onto the fire escape and lit up a spliff. He offered at to me and I gladly took it. The most I’ve ever smoked was a normal cigarette so this was a whole new experience. After a bit he put it out and we went back into the party.
I was walking fucked up boy, I think the weed had gone to my head. I felt bare hot as well but I just tried to ignore it and felt my way back to my seat.
There were bare man clocking me and my loyal gyaldem coz we were looking fire blud. They kept coming over to our table tryna chat to us and shit but they were just getting parred off. We sat there people watching, sipping our drinks and just generally cracking jokes, and then I clocked Camilla walking off to the toilets by herself. I motioned for the girls who were with me before to follow my lead. I took off my heels and quickly paced behind her, not too fast coz I didn’t want people to clock, but it was kinda bait – like 8 girls black and mixed race girls moving in the same direction looking like some dodgy ass bitches. Bare people went silent as we walked past their tables and shit…
Just as we entered the toilets I saw which cubicle Camilla went into. We told all the other girls in there to get out. Best know they ran out straight like pussyholes.
Karina and I walked over to the cubicle and she kicked open the door in one kick. I would have done, but I hate to admit this bitch has some any hench legs :)
My girl must have been doing a shit or something coz some any dirty smell came out.
“So you thought you could fuck my man yeah??”
She looked shook at first, but then she tried to front like she wasn’t
“Well darling you obviously weren’t satisfying him, or he wouldn’t have come to me.”
That was it. I walked over to her and grabbed her head, smacking it into the cubicle wall
She tried to punch me in my belly but it didn’t even hurt.
“Is that all you got you dumb sket??” I asked
I turned my head to take out my earrings and my girl tried to fucking sucker punch me. I finished taking out my earrings and then just as I was about to bang her in her face she ran out the toilets.
Meisha ran after her, and the rest of us chased after them…
She was back in the main club area, at the table she was sitting at before but no-one was there. Meisha was holding her down to the seat, and sitting on top of her.
Everyone was watching us now.
I stood there watching her struggle under Meisha’s weight. Meisha was slim but strong, she was practically strangling the bitch. Meisha dragged her off of the seat and dashed her on the floor. As soon as she touched the floor Karina turned her over, whilst Renee jumped on top of her and started banging her in the face. My girl must have been in pain at this point, coz God knows Renee aint no slim-ting. Karina lifted her foot and stamped on her face and we all heard some dirty crunch and all the crowd was like “oooh!” Renee got off of her and jumped on her belly. Camilla started coughing at this point, she was fucked, but it was time for me to do my ting. I pulled her up by her hair and smashed her face into the metal wall. Shanice handed me some metal pole; I slapped her round the face with it.
We left her lying on the floor, she deserved a break :)
After a bit she stood up and wiped the blood from her face. Stephanie jumped on the table, and kicked her in the face on one side; Shanice did the same on the other.
Maria and Rianna had grabbed all of our stuff and were waiting outside the club. I looked up clocked Kyle in the crowd. He was just standing there watching me. he started walking towards me and tried to drag me away.
“Get the fuck off of me. Don’t ever in your life attempt to touch me without my permission” I pushed him away and we breezed out of the club.
“TEN. NINE. EIGHT. SEVEN. SIX. FIVE. FOUR. THREE. TWO. ONE. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!”
Everyone in the club started screaming and cheering and bare people were kissing. Lowe it.
The music came back on and we headed over to the dancefloor. As we descended the stairs leading to the dancefloor, something told me to look at the doors. Just as I did I noticed Kyle walking in with a bag of mandem, and then behind them was … Camilla and her friend Vitalija.
So much for it didn’t mean anything, and me being the one he loves … dead.
As soon as the bashment started pumping I started moving my batty, hoping that dancing would help me forget the pain. Well at least she didn’t come with back up, and I knew it was unlikely that Vitalija would back her up. I felt someone come behind me and started holding my hips whilst grindin on my bum.
After a while I moved away from the guy and me, Maria, Stephanie and Meisha jumped on some tables and started dancing like some any strippers.
The rest of our group had gone back up to the little bar/seating section so we went back to them. Unfortunately, sitting at the next table was Kyle, Camilla and the rest. I didn’t even acknowledge that I saw them before I sat down.
I got up to go the toilet and as I walked past Kyle’s table I noticed Camilla kissing up on his neck and shit while he tried to push her off. FUNNAYY!
When I came out of the toilets, Kyle’s friend Derome was standing there.
“What’s going on with you and Kyle fam??” he still had to shout even though we weren’t in the main area the music was still loud.
“Ask him, he’s your bredrin.” I was about to walk off but he grabbed my arm
“So you’re telling me that you don’t business that there’s some girl all over your man out there. Coz even if you don't care its making you look like some any prick.”
Derome was right. We hadn’t officially broken up, so technically I could still tell this bitch to step off.
Derome led me out onto the fire escape and lit up a spliff. He offered at to me and I gladly took it. The most I’ve ever smoked was a normal cigarette so this was a whole new experience. After a bit he put it out and we went back into the party.
I was walking fucked up boy, I think the weed had gone to my head. I felt bare hot as well but I just tried to ignore it and felt my way back to my seat.
There were bare man clocking me and my loyal gyaldem coz we were looking fire blud. They kept coming over to our table tryna chat to us and shit but they were just getting parred off. We sat there people watching, sipping our drinks and just generally cracking jokes, and then I clocked Camilla walking off to the toilets by herself. I motioned for the girls who were with me before to follow my lead. I took off my heels and quickly paced behind her, not too fast coz I didn’t want people to clock, but it was kinda bait – like 8 girls black and mixed race girls moving in the same direction looking like some dodgy ass bitches. Bare people went silent as we walked past their tables and shit…
Just as we entered the toilets I saw which cubicle Camilla went into. We told all the other girls in there to get out. Best know they ran out straight like pussyholes.
Karina and I walked over to the cubicle and she kicked open the door in one kick. I would have done, but I hate to admit this bitch has some any hench legs :)
My girl must have been doing a shit or something coz some any dirty smell came out.
“So you thought you could fuck my man yeah??”
She looked shook at first, but then she tried to front like she wasn’t
“Well darling you obviously weren’t satisfying him, or he wouldn’t have come to me.”
That was it. I walked over to her and grabbed her head, smacking it into the cubicle wall
She tried to punch me in my belly but it didn’t even hurt.
“Is that all you got you dumb sket??” I asked
I turned my head to take out my earrings and my girl tried to fucking sucker punch me. I finished taking out my earrings and then just as I was about to bang her in her face she ran out the toilets.
Meisha ran after her, and the rest of us chased after them…
She was back in the main club area, at the table she was sitting at before but no-one was there. Meisha was holding her down to the seat, and sitting on top of her.
Everyone was watching us now.
I stood there watching her struggle under Meisha’s weight. Meisha was slim but strong, she was practically strangling the bitch. Meisha dragged her off of the seat and dashed her on the floor. As soon as she touched the floor Karina turned her over, whilst Renee jumped on top of her and started banging her in the face. My girl must have been in pain at this point, coz God knows Renee aint no slim-ting. Karina lifted her foot and stamped on her face and we all heard some dirty crunch and all the crowd was like “oooh!” Renee got off of her and jumped on her belly. Camilla started coughing at this point, she was fucked, but it was time for me to do my ting. I pulled her up by her hair and smashed her face into the metal wall. Shanice handed me some metal pole; I slapped her round the face with it.
We left her lying on the floor, she deserved a break :)
After a bit she stood up and wiped the blood from her face. Stephanie jumped on the table, and kicked her in the face on one side; Shanice did the same on the other.
Maria and Rianna had grabbed all of our stuff and were waiting outside the club. I looked up clocked Kyle in the crowd. He was just standing there watching me. he started walking towards me and tried to drag me away.
“Get the fuck off of me. Don’t ever in your life attempt to touch me without my permission” I pushed him away and we breezed out of the club.
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Chapter 14 - Part 1
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Chapter 14
“So it’s all going down on tomorrow yeah?” I asked, looking around the room at my soon-to-be accomplices - Renee, Karina, Meisha, Rianna, Maria, Stephanie and Shanice.
It was the day before New Years Eve, and we were in my bedroom, planning what we were gonna do to this bitch. Kyle had been belling off my line for the past week or whatever, but I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since when he told me slept with Camilla. I aint gonna lie, I had been feeling a bit emotional, but he wasn’t even worth it…
We knew Camilla was gonna be going to some rave in Streatham, so we were gonna go mash up her yard and then find her at the rave and fuck her up.
***
The morning of New Years Eve came. I was lying in bed on my laptop, watching everyone’s gassed up statuses about the rave tonight… Kyle had sent me another message in my inbox asking me to answer his calls etc… pshh nigga please!
I spent most of the day helping my mum tidy up the house. She was having a New Years Eve party, and I knew for a fact Camilla’s parents would be there, which is why we were doing a run-up on their house.
I left my house at around 4:30, to go to Georgina’s house to meet up with her, Rianna and Meisha. We all got dressed in black clothes, and carried our raving clothes in another bag. We met up with the others around 7 and jumped on a tram to Camilla’s house.
We got off the tram at the end of her road and walked down to her house, where we could see that her bedroom light was on. Coz all the houses on her row had a lower roof, and then one higher up, me, Rianna, Harmony and Shanice climbed up onto the lower one, which led right outside her bedroom window. I could hear her blasting bashment, so she definitely wouldn’t be able to hear us.
We had to wait for the signal from the others before we could make our movements.
“Boom. Boom. Boom… Fiawwwwww. Boom!” that was our signal; they had left off the fireworks on her front doorstep. We heard the bashment turn off and then we each dashed a brick through her bedroom window and ran for it. The way we had to jump off of the roof like some any Matrix niggas and shit…
We made it back to the tram stop just as a tram was coming. We all put up our hoods and jumped on and kept our faces down. We got off in Croydon and looked at the time. It was now 9. We went into the bus station toilets and got dressed for the rave. Gina and Stephanie’s hands had bare black shit on it coz of the fireworks. We all started creasing, thinking about what we had just done, and what was still yet to come for this bitch.
We finished getting ready and got on the 250. Everything was going fine until I got a call from Kyle.
Shanice grabbed my phone and answered it
“Eh look bwoi… yuh best listen and yuh best listen good FUCK OFF!” and she locked off and handed the phone back to me. it started vibrating again but I just ignored it and put it at the bottom of my bag.
***
We rolled up in the club just as that song Chilin’ by Wale & Lady Gaga came on. Just like the song was saying all eyes were on us…
It was now 11:30… only half an hour was left of the year, and I was so glad. 2010 was gonna be the best year ever for me. I felt kinda sad though… I thought I had found my first love and shit but boy was I wrong. There was no such thing as love.
Chapter 14
“So it’s all going down on tomorrow yeah?” I asked, looking around the room at my soon-to-be accomplices - Renee, Karina, Meisha, Rianna, Maria, Stephanie and Shanice.
It was the day before New Years Eve, and we were in my bedroom, planning what we were gonna do to this bitch. Kyle had been belling off my line for the past week or whatever, but I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since when he told me slept with Camilla. I aint gonna lie, I had been feeling a bit emotional, but he wasn’t even worth it…
We knew Camilla was gonna be going to some rave in Streatham, so we were gonna go mash up her yard and then find her at the rave and fuck her up.
***
The morning of New Years Eve came. I was lying in bed on my laptop, watching everyone’s gassed up statuses about the rave tonight… Kyle had sent me another message in my inbox asking me to answer his calls etc… pshh nigga please!
I spent most of the day helping my mum tidy up the house. She was having a New Years Eve party, and I knew for a fact Camilla’s parents would be there, which is why we were doing a run-up on their house.
I left my house at around 4:30, to go to Georgina’s house to meet up with her, Rianna and Meisha. We all got dressed in black clothes, and carried our raving clothes in another bag. We met up with the others around 7 and jumped on a tram to Camilla’s house.
We got off the tram at the end of her road and walked down to her house, where we could see that her bedroom light was on. Coz all the houses on her row had a lower roof, and then one higher up, me, Rianna, Harmony and Shanice climbed up onto the lower one, which led right outside her bedroom window. I could hear her blasting bashment, so she definitely wouldn’t be able to hear us.
We had to wait for the signal from the others before we could make our movements.
“Boom. Boom. Boom… Fiawwwwww. Boom!” that was our signal; they had left off the fireworks on her front doorstep. We heard the bashment turn off and then we each dashed a brick through her bedroom window and ran for it. The way we had to jump off of the roof like some any Matrix niggas and shit…
We made it back to the tram stop just as a tram was coming. We all put up our hoods and jumped on and kept our faces down. We got off in Croydon and looked at the time. It was now 9. We went into the bus station toilets and got dressed for the rave. Gina and Stephanie’s hands had bare black shit on it coz of the fireworks. We all started creasing, thinking about what we had just done, and what was still yet to come for this bitch.
We finished getting ready and got on the 250. Everything was going fine until I got a call from Kyle.
Shanice grabbed my phone and answered it
“Eh look bwoi… yuh best listen and yuh best listen good FUCK OFF!” and she locked off and handed the phone back to me. it started vibrating again but I just ignored it and put it at the bottom of my bag.
***
We rolled up in the club just as that song Chilin’ by Wale & Lady Gaga came on. Just like the song was saying all eyes were on us…
It was now 11:30… only half an hour was left of the year, and I was so glad. 2010 was gonna be the best year ever for me. I felt kinda sad though… I thought I had found my first love and shit but boy was I wrong. There was no such thing as love.
Sunday, 28 March 2010
Chapter 13
Chapter 13
A few months had passed since the incident in my house with Kyle. It was now December. I had had my surgery thingy in November, and they had basically told me that I had some gay disease which was making my periods heavy…how great for my life!
Things between Kyle and me were like totally fucked up at the moment… we just kept fighting, and he kept lying to me about where he was going and who he was with. I didn’t even know what to do anymore; everytime I felt like letting go he did or said something to pull me back in…
I was at home getting ready for the Allstar Skankers Launch Party… Kyle was sitting on my bed watching me get dressed. He had been texting someone ever since he stepped foot in my house…
I could see the end of our relationship was probably gonna come soon, but I didn’t know what to do.
“So what time do you want me to meet you??” he asked.
“Ermm… I’ll text you when I’m getting ready to leave.” Kyle wasn’t coming with me, he was going to a friends house and was gonna meet me afterwards.
I put on my chain and looked in my full-length mirror… I was just wearing some SHORT dress from Primark, in blue and black, and black shoes. I turned to face Kyle and cleared my throat. He looked up at me…
“Where do you think you’re going with that short skirt?” he said as he stood up and stretched. He walked over to me and kissed me as he gave me a hug.
We soon left and I went to meet up with my girls and we headed to the rave…
***
Anyone who attended this event will know what happened, if you didn’t, let’s just say there was hype and it got locked off…
***
From the moment I linked up with Kyle, I could tell something dodgy was going on… he looked like he had been crying and he was just bare quiet.
“Are you okay… you seem bare quiet.” I stopped him as we were walking to the bus stop to go back to my house.
“Yeah… I'm fine” he couldn't even look at me… what the hell is wrong with him.
We got back to my house and he sat on my bed while I started stripping to have a shower.
“Ciara I need to talk to you…”
“I’m going to have a shower, I’m all sweaty and shit, we can talk after” I smiled and ran to the bathroom.
***
I came out of the shower, creamed and put on my pyjamas. When I got back to my room, Kyle was sitting on the chair in front of my desk. He had fallen asleep…
I sat on the end of my bed and flicked through the channels on my TV.
All of a sudden I heard vibrations, and saw Kyle’s phone lighting up on top of the drawers next to my bed. I grabbed the phone just as the person hung up. I went to the missed calls list and saw: Camilla (25)… WHAT THE FUCK?? Why did this hoe even have my mans number, let alone called him 25 times.
It was on and popping now. I pressed the green button to call her back…
“Babes… finally… why did you just leave me like that? You left my pussy all wet and shit…”
OH… HELL… NO!
“He left your pussy wet yeah??”
“Who’s this??” she sounded shook, coz she knew full and well who it was.
“YOUR FUCKED CAMILLA. TRUST ME” I hung up the phone and jumped off my bed. I walked over to Kyle and stood in front of him.
I took a deep breath in, and gave him one DUTTY slap. He opened his eyes looking confused…
“Ciara… what’s wrong with you man??”
I walked away and flopped down on my bed.
He came and layed down next to me and put his hand on my back, rubbing it up and down.
After a bit of silence I rolled over, opened my eyes and looked at him.
“You fucked Camilla.” I stated. I don't know if I was questioning him or what…
He just went silent so that was my answer.
“That’s what I wanted to talk about… it was only once I swear…” and then he said that bait ‘boy-who’s-been-caught-cheating’ line: “it didn’t mean anything, you’re the one I love”
I didn’t say anything; I didn’t wanna open my mouth coz I knew I would cuss. I just sat on the bed, hugging my knees to my chest. I wasn’t even thinking any of those bait ‘girl-who’s-been-cheated-on’ lines, all I was thinking was calling up Karina, Meisha, Rianna, Maria, Stephanie and Shanice; the only people I knew would be down to fuck this bitch up very soon.
A few months had passed since the incident in my house with Kyle. It was now December. I had had my surgery thingy in November, and they had basically told me that I had some gay disease which was making my periods heavy…how great for my life!
Things between Kyle and me were like totally fucked up at the moment… we just kept fighting, and he kept lying to me about where he was going and who he was with. I didn’t even know what to do anymore; everytime I felt like letting go he did or said something to pull me back in…
I was at home getting ready for the Allstar Skankers Launch Party… Kyle was sitting on my bed watching me get dressed. He had been texting someone ever since he stepped foot in my house…
I could see the end of our relationship was probably gonna come soon, but I didn’t know what to do.
“So what time do you want me to meet you??” he asked.
“Ermm… I’ll text you when I’m getting ready to leave.” Kyle wasn’t coming with me, he was going to a friends house and was gonna meet me afterwards.
I put on my chain and looked in my full-length mirror… I was just wearing some SHORT dress from Primark, in blue and black, and black shoes. I turned to face Kyle and cleared my throat. He looked up at me…
“Where do you think you’re going with that short skirt?” he said as he stood up and stretched. He walked over to me and kissed me as he gave me a hug.
We soon left and I went to meet up with my girls and we headed to the rave…
***
Anyone who attended this event will know what happened, if you didn’t, let’s just say there was hype and it got locked off…
***
From the moment I linked up with Kyle, I could tell something dodgy was going on… he looked like he had been crying and he was just bare quiet.
“Are you okay… you seem bare quiet.” I stopped him as we were walking to the bus stop to go back to my house.
“Yeah… I'm fine” he couldn't even look at me… what the hell is wrong with him.
We got back to my house and he sat on my bed while I started stripping to have a shower.
“Ciara I need to talk to you…”
“I’m going to have a shower, I’m all sweaty and shit, we can talk after” I smiled and ran to the bathroom.
***
I came out of the shower, creamed and put on my pyjamas. When I got back to my room, Kyle was sitting on the chair in front of my desk. He had fallen asleep…
I sat on the end of my bed and flicked through the channels on my TV.
All of a sudden I heard vibrations, and saw Kyle’s phone lighting up on top of the drawers next to my bed. I grabbed the phone just as the person hung up. I went to the missed calls list and saw: Camilla (25)… WHAT THE FUCK?? Why did this hoe even have my mans number, let alone called him 25 times.
It was on and popping now. I pressed the green button to call her back…
“Babes… finally… why did you just leave me like that? You left my pussy all wet and shit…”
OH… HELL… NO!
“He left your pussy wet yeah??”
“Who’s this??” she sounded shook, coz she knew full and well who it was.
“YOUR FUCKED CAMILLA. TRUST ME” I hung up the phone and jumped off my bed. I walked over to Kyle and stood in front of him.
I took a deep breath in, and gave him one DUTTY slap. He opened his eyes looking confused…
“Ciara… what’s wrong with you man??”
I walked away and flopped down on my bed.
He came and layed down next to me and put his hand on my back, rubbing it up and down.
After a bit of silence I rolled over, opened my eyes and looked at him.
“You fucked Camilla.” I stated. I don't know if I was questioning him or what…
He just went silent so that was my answer.
“That’s what I wanted to talk about… it was only once I swear…” and then he said that bait ‘boy-who’s-been-caught-cheating’ line: “it didn’t mean anything, you’re the one I love”
I didn’t say anything; I didn’t wanna open my mouth coz I knew I would cuss. I just sat on the bed, hugging my knees to my chest. I wasn’t even thinking any of those bait ‘girl-who’s-been-cheated-on’ lines, all I was thinking was calling up Karina, Meisha, Rianna, Maria, Stephanie and Shanice; the only people I knew would be down to fuck this bitch up very soon.
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Chapter 12
Chapter 12
I was in the car with my mum. We were driving to my brother’s house listening to Choice FM. I could tell my mum had been itching to ask me something for ages, but she hadn’t…
On Choice FM they were chatting some nonsense about relationships and then my mum decided to talk…
“So Ciara… how are things with you and Kyle??” she began
“Ermm… they’re alright I suppose”
“I noticed you didn’t return home the other night… where were you?”
Shit, do I lie or not??
“I did come home in the end… I was at Chelsea’s.” I lied, hoping she wouldn’t clock
“Really… coz I spoke to Chelsea. She said she hadn’t seen you since you left the hospital. So I’m gonna ask you again and I want the truth. Where were you?”
I sighed and decided it was time to just tell the truth.
“I was at Kyle’s house… but I came home at like 1.” I tried to remember what time I had seen that text coz if it was after one then I was fucked.
My mum made some grumbling noises and then spoke
“What makes you think it’s appropriate to be staying out until those times, especially when you were at a boy’s house.”
I didn’t answer and we didn’t speak for the rest of the journey.
**
We had been at my brother’s house for a few hours now; we were basically just having some family time. My niece was so beautiful … apparently she looked like me, but I couldn't see it.
Anyway, they had named her Amira; she had blondish hair and big brown eyes :) I love her!
Eventually my mum and I left coz I had college the next day, and she had work, but I would rather have stayed with my beautiful little baby … I sound like some any paedophile.
**
The next day I was on the train home from college and my phone rang… it was the doctor I saw at the hospital on Friday. He asked if I would be able to come in the next day to review my test results…
The way he said I started thinking something was seriously wrong with me… I spent the rest of the night avoiding everyone, sitting in my room thinking about my life.
The next morning I went to college as normal, but left early to go to the hospital. I hadn’t even taken my phone with me that morning when I left, so I was listening to music on my old school mp3 player as I was sat in the waiting room.
“Ciara-Melissa Clarke?” I looked up at the sound of my name, and saw the nurse standing there. I got up and followed her into the room where the doctor was waiting.
“Hello Ciara, how are you today?” he asked
“Ermm… I’m alright I suppose.” He nodded and told me to take a seat.
“your test results showed that it is possible that there’s something wrong with you internally, because the pain and blood flow you were describing did not sound normal” as he said that I felt a twinge in my belly. “So we want to perform a little surgery called a laparoscopy, where we will use a small camera to see what’s going on within you uterus etc. Does that sound OK?”
I nodded my head. I’m not exactly gonna refuse a cure for this stupid pain I experience every month.
I was booked in for an appointment in November, to do the surgery thing, and then I left.
I sat at the bus stop outside the hospital for about an hour before getting on a bus. It’s not that the buses weren’t coming, I just couldn't be bothered. I got home around 4:30 and went straight to my room. I had a long hot bath and then decided to read a book. Around 8 I went on Facebook, and as usual I went to inspect my husband’s page. The first thing I saw was a comment from a girl called Carley, saying: ‘I enjoyed today b ;) I’m keeping ur hoodie 2 :) xx’ SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! Who’s this bitch, why’s she winking at MY man and why’s she got his hoodie? As far as I know he went uni today… so why’s this chick gwarning like they linked.
WHATEVER! I decided to leave it alone and go about my business. Fuck him if that’s what he wants to do, I’m sure there are many other boys who would want me. And I was right; I went on my friend requests. Some mandem from college had added me, so I accepted them and about five minutes later one of them wrote some next message on my wall saying I looked nice today…
I didn’t bother replying I just went ignored it and went to bed.
*
The next day I didn’t have college so I stayed in bed for most of the morning and then went downstairs and watched Nickelodeon. I miss childhood, life was so simple. I had woken up with a major headache, and to make matters worse, I was on my period. My phone was ringing, it was Kyle…
“Hello”
“Yo… wha gwarn?” he asked, someone was happy
“Nothing…”
“OK… do u wanna come see me today??” he asked, as if I was supposed to be excited
“I don’t fell well… you can come and see me if you want.”
“Ermm… aite. See you later.” Skeen, what you hesitating for you dick
I locked off the phone and looked in the mirror. I didn’t look that bad; I’d had a bath, I was just in pyjamas with my hair lookin raga. I grabbed my brush and quickly brushed it up into a ponytail and sat back down in front of Zoey 101.
I started feeling tired so when the doorbell rang it took me a while to get down there.
We went back to the living room and jammed in front of the TV. Neither of us were talking much, I was laying down on the sofa, and he was just sitting there texting someone.
“Look yeah, if you’re not gonna talk I’m just gonna go,” he said after like ten minutes of us jamming in silence
I turned my head to look at him
“I didn’t force you to come here, and I told you on the phone I don't feel well so what do you want me to do, jump all over you or something??”
I got up and walked out of the room to the bathroom. Once in there I sat on top of the toilet and cried. I don't know what’s wrong with me, I hardly ever cry. After a while I left the bathroom and went back to the bathroom.
“…nah babes, I’m just at my bredrins yard…yeah” I could hear as I approached the room
I kicked open the door…
“I’ll call you back.” He said and locked off the phone. I stood there looking at him.
“That wasn’t what-“ he started
“…it sounded like? Shut the fuck up and get out of my fucking house before I do something I regret.”
He got up and started walking out of the room, but because I was standing in the doorway he had stop in front of me. I moved out of the way and he grabbed my hand.
“GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FUCKING PRICK!!” I pushed him off me and watched him leave.
I was in the car with my mum. We were driving to my brother’s house listening to Choice FM. I could tell my mum had been itching to ask me something for ages, but she hadn’t…
On Choice FM they were chatting some nonsense about relationships and then my mum decided to talk…
“So Ciara… how are things with you and Kyle??” she began
“Ermm… they’re alright I suppose”
“I noticed you didn’t return home the other night… where were you?”
Shit, do I lie or not??
“I did come home in the end… I was at Chelsea’s.” I lied, hoping she wouldn’t clock
“Really… coz I spoke to Chelsea. She said she hadn’t seen you since you left the hospital. So I’m gonna ask you again and I want the truth. Where were you?”
I sighed and decided it was time to just tell the truth.
“I was at Kyle’s house… but I came home at like 1.” I tried to remember what time I had seen that text coz if it was after one then I was fucked.
My mum made some grumbling noises and then spoke
“What makes you think it’s appropriate to be staying out until those times, especially when you were at a boy’s house.”
I didn’t answer and we didn’t speak for the rest of the journey.
**
We had been at my brother’s house for a few hours now; we were basically just having some family time. My niece was so beautiful … apparently she looked like me, but I couldn't see it.
Anyway, they had named her Amira; she had blondish hair and big brown eyes :) I love her!
Eventually my mum and I left coz I had college the next day, and she had work, but I would rather have stayed with my beautiful little baby … I sound like some any paedophile.
**
The next day I was on the train home from college and my phone rang… it was the doctor I saw at the hospital on Friday. He asked if I would be able to come in the next day to review my test results…
The way he said I started thinking something was seriously wrong with me… I spent the rest of the night avoiding everyone, sitting in my room thinking about my life.
The next morning I went to college as normal, but left early to go to the hospital. I hadn’t even taken my phone with me that morning when I left, so I was listening to music on my old school mp3 player as I was sat in the waiting room.
“Ciara-Melissa Clarke?” I looked up at the sound of my name, and saw the nurse standing there. I got up and followed her into the room where the doctor was waiting.
“Hello Ciara, how are you today?” he asked
“Ermm… I’m alright I suppose.” He nodded and told me to take a seat.
“your test results showed that it is possible that there’s something wrong with you internally, because the pain and blood flow you were describing did not sound normal” as he said that I felt a twinge in my belly. “So we want to perform a little surgery called a laparoscopy, where we will use a small camera to see what’s going on within you uterus etc. Does that sound OK?”
I nodded my head. I’m not exactly gonna refuse a cure for this stupid pain I experience every month.
I was booked in for an appointment in November, to do the surgery thing, and then I left.
I sat at the bus stop outside the hospital for about an hour before getting on a bus. It’s not that the buses weren’t coming, I just couldn't be bothered. I got home around 4:30 and went straight to my room. I had a long hot bath and then decided to read a book. Around 8 I went on Facebook, and as usual I went to inspect my husband’s page. The first thing I saw was a comment from a girl called Carley, saying: ‘I enjoyed today b ;) I’m keeping ur hoodie 2 :) xx’ SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! Who’s this bitch, why’s she winking at MY man and why’s she got his hoodie? As far as I know he went uni today… so why’s this chick gwarning like they linked.
WHATEVER! I decided to leave it alone and go about my business. Fuck him if that’s what he wants to do, I’m sure there are many other boys who would want me. And I was right; I went on my friend requests. Some mandem from college had added me, so I accepted them and about five minutes later one of them wrote some next message on my wall saying I looked nice today…
I didn’t bother replying I just went ignored it and went to bed.
*
The next day I didn’t have college so I stayed in bed for most of the morning and then went downstairs and watched Nickelodeon. I miss childhood, life was so simple. I had woken up with a major headache, and to make matters worse, I was on my period. My phone was ringing, it was Kyle…
“Hello”
“Yo… wha gwarn?” he asked, someone was happy
“Nothing…”
“OK… do u wanna come see me today??” he asked, as if I was supposed to be excited
“I don’t fell well… you can come and see me if you want.”
“Ermm… aite. See you later.” Skeen, what you hesitating for you dick
I locked off the phone and looked in the mirror. I didn’t look that bad; I’d had a bath, I was just in pyjamas with my hair lookin raga. I grabbed my brush and quickly brushed it up into a ponytail and sat back down in front of Zoey 101.
I started feeling tired so when the doorbell rang it took me a while to get down there.
We went back to the living room and jammed in front of the TV. Neither of us were talking much, I was laying down on the sofa, and he was just sitting there texting someone.
“Look yeah, if you’re not gonna talk I’m just gonna go,” he said after like ten minutes of us jamming in silence
I turned my head to look at him
“I didn’t force you to come here, and I told you on the phone I don't feel well so what do you want me to do, jump all over you or something??”
I got up and walked out of the room to the bathroom. Once in there I sat on top of the toilet and cried. I don't know what’s wrong with me, I hardly ever cry. After a while I left the bathroom and went back to the bathroom.
“…nah babes, I’m just at my bredrins yard…yeah” I could hear as I approached the room
I kicked open the door…
“I’ll call you back.” He said and locked off the phone. I stood there looking at him.
“That wasn’t what-“ he started
“…it sounded like? Shut the fuck up and get out of my fucking house before I do something I regret.”
He got up and started walking out of the room, but because I was standing in the doorway he had stop in front of me. I moved out of the way and he grabbed my hand.
“GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FUCKING PRICK!!” I pushed him off me and watched him leave.
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Chapter 11
Chapter 11
They both replied saying the same thing, that the other person added them (as in Kyle added Camilla, and Camilla added Kyle). I didn’t respond to either of them. I just went back to my bed. I didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. My mum called me, we spoke for a bit, and she told me we were going north tomorrow to see my brother and his newborn daughter. I was supposed to be there for the birth, but she had come earlier than planned on Monday morning, so I was finally gonna get to see her.
After I came off the phone to my mum, I got in the shower and washed my hair. I got dressed into Light blue jeans a white top. The doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone so I was surprised. I ran down and opened it. It was Kyle.
I left the door open and went into the kitchen.
“No hello nah” I ignored him. “Okayyy … why you gonna air me??”
“Why you gonna add Camilla on Facebook” I countered. This boy was gonna piss me off today, I could see it.
“ARGHH .… FOR FUCK’S SAKE-“ he started
“DO NOT FUCKING SHOUT AT ME, ESPECIALLY NOT IN MY OWN HOUSE.”
“LISTEN YEAH, I ALREADY DONE TOLD YOUR CLART THAT SHE ADDED ME, SO IF UR STILL GONNA CHAT SHIT IN MY EARS ABOUT IM GONE.” He turned around and started walking towards the door but when he got to the front door he stopped.
He turned around and started walking towards me with a crazy look on his face, like he wanted to fuck me up. I started backing away. When he got to me, he grabbed me and shoved me against the wall.
Then he started kissing me. What the fuck??
I bit his lip to stop him kissing me, and pushed him away from me
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” we both said at the same time. I ignored him and walked over to the kettle. I snatched it off of its little holder thingy and filled it up with some tap water. I stood there watching it boil, just so I didn’t have to look at him. I wanted to kill him.
I walked over to the cupboard where the coffee container was and picked it up. I could sense him watching me, but he wasn’t speaking, so I wasn’t either.
As I was putting some coffee powder into a mug he came and stood behind me and said my name.
“What??”
“Nothing.”
This boy is so stupid, I wanted to fucking stab him.
“Leave me alone then” I stated as I poured sugar into my cup of coffee and stirred it. I went into the fridge to check if my Sainsbury’s jam doughnuts were still there. They were so I took two out. I turned around to face him as I bit into one.
“Do you want me to prove that I didn’t add her??”
“If that’s what tickles your Willy then go ahead.” He screwed me and went into the next room, into my mum’s office. He switched on the computer and logged into his Hotmail inbox.
“There you go…” he said, turning the flat screen to face me. He had opened a message from Facebook with the heading ‘Camilla Sanchez added you as a friend on Facebook…’
I took a gulp from my coffee and went back into the kitchen. I heard the little sound the computer makes when it’s turning off as he appeared back in front of me.
“So… are you gonna give me a kiss now??” he asked
“I’m eating” I said with my mouth full of doughnut
“I don’t care,” he said as he shrugged and moved closer, and planted a kiss on my lips, nearly making me choke on my food. As he pulled away he licked sugar off of my bottom lip. Ewww!
I wiped my mouth and finished off my doughnut.
We went upstairs…
These times it was like one o’clock and we had been together for about an hour and a half. I was super-bored, and the one thing I do when I’m super-bored is turn on some music and shake what my mama gave me.
I went and got my laptop from my room and went into Windows Media Player and started pumping that song ‘Line It Up Inna Yuh Pum-Pum’.
Don't think I didn’t starting whining myself upon the chair while he was tryna watch some gay football match.
“I beg you turn that off” he said
“No, you’re not paying attention to me, and I’m bored, so this is what I do when I’m bored.”
He exhaled and layed flat on his back on the sofa, and closed his eyes. I crawled over to him and jumped on top of him, and started grinding on him…
“Get off me man, I’m tryna sleep”
“fine.” I turned off the music and my laptop, and laid down next to him with my leg thrown over him.
My eyes started feeling heavy despite the fact that I had drunk a large cup of coffee, and I gradually fell asleep.
When I opened my eyes again, Kyle was fast asleep as well. The time was 4:30. My belly was rumbling like a mu’fucker … I got on top of Kyle and started kissing his neck. He must have been in a light sleep coz he instantly grabbed my bum and squeezed it.
One minute we were ‘innocently’ dry-sexing, the next we were having full-on sex, with me riding it like a pony :)
As we were doing it, I was hoping that my mum wouldn’t come home and catch us, coz that would be me dead boy. It was like God was punishing me for having sex, coz literally just as he bussed, I heard a car pulling up in the driveway. Shit! No matter who it was, we were about to be caught. We jumped up off of the sofa and started running around, putting on our clothes, tryna make ourselves look normal. Just as I pulled my top over my head, I heard the front door slam shut.
My mum walked into the room looking as happy as Larry (not ‘Larry’, I mean that saying ‘as happy as Larry’).
I looked at Kyle, to make sure he had composed himself. He was casually lying on the sofa with his hand on his chest.
“Mum, why you so happy??” I asked
“Can’t a girl be happy??” she was literally grinning from ear-to-ear. She sat down on the end of the armchair, and sighed. “Life is great. My kids are all grown up, especially my beautiful baby girl; I’ve got another grandchild… why shouldn’t I be happy?”
I shrugged my shoulders…
“Anyway… I’m hungry; you hungry??”
“Depends, what you cooking??”
“I’ll cook for you anyway.” She called as she left the room.
I looked at Kyle and started laughing
“I know exactly why my mum’s happy. I dun kno she musta got a hot fuck last night or something”
Kyle just rolled his eyes and focused on the TV again.
I flopped back on the sofa and closed my eyes as Kyle flicked through the channels on the TV.
I layed there thinking; maybe it was time I stopped giving into Kyle. Eventually he would take things too far, and I would end up looking like a prick. But I liked him too much to give him up, but I wondered if he felt the same.
They both replied saying the same thing, that the other person added them (as in Kyle added Camilla, and Camilla added Kyle). I didn’t respond to either of them. I just went back to my bed. I didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. My mum called me, we spoke for a bit, and she told me we were going north tomorrow to see my brother and his newborn daughter. I was supposed to be there for the birth, but she had come earlier than planned on Monday morning, so I was finally gonna get to see her.
After I came off the phone to my mum, I got in the shower and washed my hair. I got dressed into Light blue jeans a white top. The doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone so I was surprised. I ran down and opened it. It was Kyle.
I left the door open and went into the kitchen.
“No hello nah” I ignored him. “Okayyy … why you gonna air me??”
“Why you gonna add Camilla on Facebook” I countered. This boy was gonna piss me off today, I could see it.
“ARGHH .… FOR FUCK’S SAKE-“ he started
“DO NOT FUCKING SHOUT AT ME, ESPECIALLY NOT IN MY OWN HOUSE.”
“LISTEN YEAH, I ALREADY DONE TOLD YOUR CLART THAT SHE ADDED ME, SO IF UR STILL GONNA CHAT SHIT IN MY EARS ABOUT IM GONE.” He turned around and started walking towards the door but when he got to the front door he stopped.
He turned around and started walking towards me with a crazy look on his face, like he wanted to fuck me up. I started backing away. When he got to me, he grabbed me and shoved me against the wall.
Then he started kissing me. What the fuck??
I bit his lip to stop him kissing me, and pushed him away from me
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” we both said at the same time. I ignored him and walked over to the kettle. I snatched it off of its little holder thingy and filled it up with some tap water. I stood there watching it boil, just so I didn’t have to look at him. I wanted to kill him.
I walked over to the cupboard where the coffee container was and picked it up. I could sense him watching me, but he wasn’t speaking, so I wasn’t either.
As I was putting some coffee powder into a mug he came and stood behind me and said my name.
“What??”
“Nothing.”
This boy is so stupid, I wanted to fucking stab him.
“Leave me alone then” I stated as I poured sugar into my cup of coffee and stirred it. I went into the fridge to check if my Sainsbury’s jam doughnuts were still there. They were so I took two out. I turned around to face him as I bit into one.
“Do you want me to prove that I didn’t add her??”
“If that’s what tickles your Willy then go ahead.” He screwed me and went into the next room, into my mum’s office. He switched on the computer and logged into his Hotmail inbox.
“There you go…” he said, turning the flat screen to face me. He had opened a message from Facebook with the heading ‘Camilla Sanchez added you as a friend on Facebook…’
I took a gulp from my coffee and went back into the kitchen. I heard the little sound the computer makes when it’s turning off as he appeared back in front of me.
“So… are you gonna give me a kiss now??” he asked
“I’m eating” I said with my mouth full of doughnut
“I don’t care,” he said as he shrugged and moved closer, and planted a kiss on my lips, nearly making me choke on my food. As he pulled away he licked sugar off of my bottom lip. Ewww!
I wiped my mouth and finished off my doughnut.
We went upstairs…
These times it was like one o’clock and we had been together for about an hour and a half. I was super-bored, and the one thing I do when I’m super-bored is turn on some music and shake what my mama gave me.
I went and got my laptop from my room and went into Windows Media Player and started pumping that song ‘Line It Up Inna Yuh Pum-Pum’.
Don't think I didn’t starting whining myself upon the chair while he was tryna watch some gay football match.
“I beg you turn that off” he said
“No, you’re not paying attention to me, and I’m bored, so this is what I do when I’m bored.”
He exhaled and layed flat on his back on the sofa, and closed his eyes. I crawled over to him and jumped on top of him, and started grinding on him…
“Get off me man, I’m tryna sleep”
“fine.” I turned off the music and my laptop, and laid down next to him with my leg thrown over him.
My eyes started feeling heavy despite the fact that I had drunk a large cup of coffee, and I gradually fell asleep.
When I opened my eyes again, Kyle was fast asleep as well. The time was 4:30. My belly was rumbling like a mu’fucker … I got on top of Kyle and started kissing his neck. He must have been in a light sleep coz he instantly grabbed my bum and squeezed it.
One minute we were ‘innocently’ dry-sexing, the next we were having full-on sex, with me riding it like a pony :)
As we were doing it, I was hoping that my mum wouldn’t come home and catch us, coz that would be me dead boy. It was like God was punishing me for having sex, coz literally just as he bussed, I heard a car pulling up in the driveway. Shit! No matter who it was, we were about to be caught. We jumped up off of the sofa and started running around, putting on our clothes, tryna make ourselves look normal. Just as I pulled my top over my head, I heard the front door slam shut.
My mum walked into the room looking as happy as Larry (not ‘Larry’, I mean that saying ‘as happy as Larry’).
I looked at Kyle, to make sure he had composed himself. He was casually lying on the sofa with his hand on his chest.
“Mum, why you so happy??” I asked
“Can’t a girl be happy??” she was literally grinning from ear-to-ear. She sat down on the end of the armchair, and sighed. “Life is great. My kids are all grown up, especially my beautiful baby girl; I’ve got another grandchild… why shouldn’t I be happy?”
I shrugged my shoulders…
“Anyway… I’m hungry; you hungry??”
“Depends, what you cooking??”
“I’ll cook for you anyway.” She called as she left the room.
I looked at Kyle and started laughing
“I know exactly why my mum’s happy. I dun kno she musta got a hot fuck last night or something”
Kyle just rolled his eyes and focused on the TV again.
I flopped back on the sofa and closed my eyes as Kyle flicked through the channels on the TV.
I layed there thinking; maybe it was time I stopped giving into Kyle. Eventually he would take things too far, and I would end up looking like a prick. But I liked him too much to give him up, but I wondered if he felt the same.
Saturday, 20 March 2010
Chapter 10
Chapter 10
I slowly opened my eyes and it was still dark. I looked at my watch and saw it was 12:07am … my mum was gonna beat my rass boi. I rolled over to my left, but Kyle wasn’t there anymore… KMT! I sat up and felt a disgusting stinging between my legs. I needed to have a long hot shower boy. I gathered up my clothes and put them on, but I couldn't find my bra…? I was under the bed looking for it but I still couldn't find it, oh well, I’d just have to go bra-less until I got home. Just as I was about to get back in the bed Kyle came back in the room fully dressed.
“When did you wake up??” he asked
“Where’ve you been?” I wasn’t gonna answer him until he answered me.
“Downstairs and I think you’ll find I asked you a question first.”
I rolled my eyes and answered him
“About five minutes ago” I took a seat on the bed, and he did the same.
“What were you doing downstairs then??” I asked
“Oh my God, what is this, the Spanish Inquisition?? If you must know I was looking for my other phone.” I ignored him and picked up my bag off the floor. I took out my phone and saw that I had three missed calls from my mum, and some more texts. One was from my mum and it said: ‘I know you’re not at home, so don't front like you were when I see you. I will call the HOUSE PHONE tomorrow morning at 9am. I expect you to answer it.’
“Who you texting now??” he sounded annoyed/pissed/frustrated
“My mum…anyway I’m bouncing now-“
“No you aint. I haven’t finished with you yet.” Because I had my back to him I couldn't see his face, so I was expecting to feel him kissing on my neck or something but I didn’t. I turned and looked at him.
“Did I tell you to look at me??” he said
“I’m gonna fuck you up, you know. I don't know why I’m even here; I could be in my fucking bed”
“Go then, aint nobody forcing you to be here.” I didn’t move. “That’s what I thought. Anyway, what I was going to say I haven’t given you your birthday present. But since you aint getting it and you get out of my house too”
I looked in his eyes, tryna work it if he was being serious. He was straight screwfacing.
“Really? Aright then. See you around.” I got up, picked up my shit and walked out of the room faster than he anticipated coz by the time I was at the bottom of the stairs he was only just coming out of his room, laughing like a prick.
“I was joking man, look at you tryna come like some next Usain Bolt.” I ignored him and sat down on the stairs to put on my shoes and he sat down next to me. he grabbed my hands to stop me putting on my shoes…
“I was joking.”
“I heard you, but I don't find your jokes very funny”
“Ciaraaaaa”
I ignored him
“Ciaraaaaa … don't ignore me man… I was joking.” He started kissing my neck but I pushed him off and he hit his head on the banister thingy. I jumped up from where I was sitting.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay??”
He nodded his head while holding the side of it. I knelt down between his legs and moved his hand. It weren’t bleeding or anything, but I felt bad. I felt his hands go around my waist. I was tempted to move them but I let him leave them there.
His older brother came out of the kitchen and went into the living room.
“Use a condom kids” he called out to us. I rolled my eyes and started laughing
He looked into my eyes and said: “let’s go upstairs” when he saw my facial expression he said: “not to beat, just come”
We went upstairs and sat down on the bed.
“Close your eyes; I wanna give you your present.” I obeyed and I heard him shuffling around behind me. I felt his weight press down on the bed as he sat next to me.
“You can open your eyes now” I opened my eyes to see him holding a present bag from Ernest Jones. Anyone who knows about Jewellery knows that Ernest Jones is like one of the most expensive shops around… I opened the bag to find on two long boxes the first one was a necklace with a heart pendant on it, and the second one was a matching bracelet.
“Do you wanna know why I chose to buy a necklace” knowing him it would probably be something dirty…
“Tell me then”
“Coz I imagined you wearing it when you’re naked.”
“You’re too nasty for me. Help me put it on then yuh dutty”
I lifted up my hair and he moved behind me to put it around me.
“Are you gonna get naked?” he started laughing as he put the little bar in the hole thingy. When he finished he kissed me on my neck
“No. you wish I would though init”
“Damn right!”
I turned around and faced him. I held my hand out to him so he could put the bracelet on me as well. Then he kissed me on my lips.
“You’re so beautiful”
“Yeah… and you’re sexy as fuck!” I said and we started laughing
“Cheeky” he said before kissing me again. I wanted to fuck him again, but I felt like keeping him waiting at least until tomorrow
“Oh yeah… where’s my bra?”
“Why should I know?”
Arghh… I felt lost without my bra.
I looked at my watch as Kyle got up to turn the TV on. He was flicking through the channels while I tried to fix my hair. When Kyle came back to the bed I layed down with my head resting on his chest.
I think I'm falling in love…
I fell asleep and eventually woke up again around 4am and tried force him to take me home. He wanted me to spend the night.
“I can’t my mums gonna call my yard at 9 so she’ll know I never came home.”
“I’ll take you home at 8 then… please stay”
“No… come on, you can come to mine if you must.”
“Nah I want my bed tonight”
He slowly stood up, yawned and stretched. He walked over to the TV and turned it off, then put his car keys in his pocket.
“I thought you said that wasn’t your whip.” I questioned him. Why did he lie?
“Nah I’m looking after it for my cousin in pen.”
Skeen. I couldn't be bothered to question him anymore.
He walked over and lifted me off the bed and over his shoulder. He slowly walked downstairs and out the front door to the car. He unlocked the car and put me into the passenger seat.
I quickly fell asleep and when I opened my eyes I was on my bed with Kyle next to me.
“I’ve been tryna wake you up for like 20 minute’s u freak. I’m gonna go now” he said. I sat up and took off the chain and the bracelet and the rest of my clothes and walked over to my chest of drawers. I took out some old bra that I always wear to sleep and put it on. I climbed back into bed.
He leaned over and kissed my cheek.
“Bye, I’ll call you in the morning” he walked out. I heard him go down the stairs and the front door slam shut, then his engine turned on and revved up.
I couldn't get back to sleep, so I turned on my laptop and went on Facebook. I went on to Kyle’s page and saw the words ‘Kyle and Camilla Sanchez are now friends’. I clicked on the name to make sure, and I saw Camilla’s face come up on my screen. Why the fuck had they added each other?
I sent her a text: ‘WHY THE FUCK DID U ADD MY MAN ON FB?’
I sent him a text: ‘WHY THE FUCK DID U ADD CAMILLA ON FB?’
I slowly opened my eyes and it was still dark. I looked at my watch and saw it was 12:07am … my mum was gonna beat my rass boi. I rolled over to my left, but Kyle wasn’t there anymore… KMT! I sat up and felt a disgusting stinging between my legs. I needed to have a long hot shower boy. I gathered up my clothes and put them on, but I couldn't find my bra…? I was under the bed looking for it but I still couldn't find it, oh well, I’d just have to go bra-less until I got home. Just as I was about to get back in the bed Kyle came back in the room fully dressed.
“When did you wake up??” he asked
“Where’ve you been?” I wasn’t gonna answer him until he answered me.
“Downstairs and I think you’ll find I asked you a question first.”
I rolled my eyes and answered him
“About five minutes ago” I took a seat on the bed, and he did the same.
“What were you doing downstairs then??” I asked
“Oh my God, what is this, the Spanish Inquisition?? If you must know I was looking for my other phone.” I ignored him and picked up my bag off the floor. I took out my phone and saw that I had three missed calls from my mum, and some more texts. One was from my mum and it said: ‘I know you’re not at home, so don't front like you were when I see you. I will call the HOUSE PHONE tomorrow morning at 9am. I expect you to answer it.’
“Who you texting now??” he sounded annoyed/pissed/frustrated
“My mum…anyway I’m bouncing now-“
“No you aint. I haven’t finished with you yet.” Because I had my back to him I couldn't see his face, so I was expecting to feel him kissing on my neck or something but I didn’t. I turned and looked at him.
“Did I tell you to look at me??” he said
“I’m gonna fuck you up, you know. I don't know why I’m even here; I could be in my fucking bed”
“Go then, aint nobody forcing you to be here.” I didn’t move. “That’s what I thought. Anyway, what I was going to say I haven’t given you your birthday present. But since you aint getting it and you get out of my house too”
I looked in his eyes, tryna work it if he was being serious. He was straight screwfacing.
“Really? Aright then. See you around.” I got up, picked up my shit and walked out of the room faster than he anticipated coz by the time I was at the bottom of the stairs he was only just coming out of his room, laughing like a prick.
“I was joking man, look at you tryna come like some next Usain Bolt.” I ignored him and sat down on the stairs to put on my shoes and he sat down next to me. he grabbed my hands to stop me putting on my shoes…
“I was joking.”
“I heard you, but I don't find your jokes very funny”
“Ciaraaaaa”
I ignored him
“Ciaraaaaa … don't ignore me man… I was joking.” He started kissing my neck but I pushed him off and he hit his head on the banister thingy. I jumped up from where I was sitting.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay??”
He nodded his head while holding the side of it. I knelt down between his legs and moved his hand. It weren’t bleeding or anything, but I felt bad. I felt his hands go around my waist. I was tempted to move them but I let him leave them there.
His older brother came out of the kitchen and went into the living room.
“Use a condom kids” he called out to us. I rolled my eyes and started laughing
He looked into my eyes and said: “let’s go upstairs” when he saw my facial expression he said: “not to beat, just come”
We went upstairs and sat down on the bed.
“Close your eyes; I wanna give you your present.” I obeyed and I heard him shuffling around behind me. I felt his weight press down on the bed as he sat next to me.
“You can open your eyes now” I opened my eyes to see him holding a present bag from Ernest Jones. Anyone who knows about Jewellery knows that Ernest Jones is like one of the most expensive shops around… I opened the bag to find on two long boxes the first one was a necklace with a heart pendant on it, and the second one was a matching bracelet.
“Do you wanna know why I chose to buy a necklace” knowing him it would probably be something dirty…
“Tell me then”
“Coz I imagined you wearing it when you’re naked.”
“You’re too nasty for me. Help me put it on then yuh dutty”
I lifted up my hair and he moved behind me to put it around me.
“Are you gonna get naked?” he started laughing as he put the little bar in the hole thingy. When he finished he kissed me on my neck
“No. you wish I would though init”
“Damn right!”
I turned around and faced him. I held my hand out to him so he could put the bracelet on me as well. Then he kissed me on my lips.
“You’re so beautiful”
“Yeah… and you’re sexy as fuck!” I said and we started laughing
“Cheeky” he said before kissing me again. I wanted to fuck him again, but I felt like keeping him waiting at least until tomorrow
“Oh yeah… where’s my bra?”
“Why should I know?”
Arghh… I felt lost without my bra.
I looked at my watch as Kyle got up to turn the TV on. He was flicking through the channels while I tried to fix my hair. When Kyle came back to the bed I layed down with my head resting on his chest.
I think I'm falling in love…
I fell asleep and eventually woke up again around 4am and tried force him to take me home. He wanted me to spend the night.
“I can’t my mums gonna call my yard at 9 so she’ll know I never came home.”
“I’ll take you home at 8 then… please stay”
“No… come on, you can come to mine if you must.”
“Nah I want my bed tonight”
He slowly stood up, yawned and stretched. He walked over to the TV and turned it off, then put his car keys in his pocket.
“I thought you said that wasn’t your whip.” I questioned him. Why did he lie?
“Nah I’m looking after it for my cousin in pen.”
Skeen. I couldn't be bothered to question him anymore.
He walked over and lifted me off the bed and over his shoulder. He slowly walked downstairs and out the front door to the car. He unlocked the car and put me into the passenger seat.
I quickly fell asleep and when I opened my eyes I was on my bed with Kyle next to me.
“I’ve been tryna wake you up for like 20 minute’s u freak. I’m gonna go now” he said. I sat up and took off the chain and the bracelet and the rest of my clothes and walked over to my chest of drawers. I took out some old bra that I always wear to sleep and put it on. I climbed back into bed.
He leaned over and kissed my cheek.
“Bye, I’ll call you in the morning” he walked out. I heard him go down the stairs and the front door slam shut, then his engine turned on and revved up.
I couldn't get back to sleep, so I turned on my laptop and went on Facebook. I went on to Kyle’s page and saw the words ‘Kyle and Camilla Sanchez are now friends’. I clicked on the name to make sure, and I saw Camilla’s face come up on my screen. Why the fuck had they added each other?
I sent her a text: ‘WHY THE FUCK DID U ADD MY MAN ON FB?’
I sent him a text: ‘WHY THE FUCK DID U ADD CAMILLA ON FB?’
Friday, 19 March 2010
Chapter 9
WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT
Chapter 9
We FINALLY got off the tram; it was like going on a journey to the centre of the earth blud. KMT… anyway… as we were walking down the road to his house, I was still texting Tyrone, and I could sense him watching me.
“Who the fuck are you texting so much??” he didn’t wait for me to answer, he just grabbed the phone out of my hands and when I tried to get it he held it out of my reach. Curse him for being 6-foot 3-inches tall. ¬¬
By the time I managed to jump on his back and try and get the phone back he had already looked through half of my inbox… I started slapping his head and then next thing I knew I was lying on the dirty pavement and he was standing there laughing… how rude! I just lay on the floor, pretending I was unconscious. He was still there laughing, he weren’t even tryna help me. I could hear footsteps approaching, but I still kept my eyes closed…
“Kyle… what have you done to her” it was his sister Rachel
This fool was still standing there laughing. I could feel warm breath (not in a bad way) on my face.
“Ciara…” she shook me “are you alrite??” I opened my eyes and nodded my head. Then I remembered I was on the pavement so I jumped up and started wiping myself off.
“You two need to grow up, come on nuh” she walked off in the direction we came from.
I snatched my phone out of his hand and put it back in my bag. I took off my hoodie and shook it off; I just felt so dirty coz I had been laying on the ground.
This fool was STILL laughing kmt. I walked off and let him follow behind like a little dog.
I was walking bare fast, not clocking that someone was shouting until I heard Kyle saying “Shut the fuck up” to someone. I turned around and saw some random boy standing there, but I hadn’t even heard what he said.
Kyle grabbed my arm and dragged me up the road to his house…
We finally got to his house after what seemed like ten million years, and we were in his room on his bed. He kept tryna make a move on me, but I felt like making him wait for a bit first.
I got up and went to the toilet… when I came back into the room, I was about to lay down next to him but he grabbed me and pulled me on top of him, and then flipped over so I couldn't get up.
He started kissing my neck etc and then we started lipsing… I was just getting into it and was ready to let his hands start going places and then someone started knocking on the door bare loud…
“KYLE … GET YUH RASS DOWN HERE NOW!” Oh … my … gosh. Talk about a mood killer. He got up and went downstairs to see what his mum wanted and I stayed on the bed.
About five minutes later he came back up with his hand down his trousers (tell-tale sign that he had a boner) and took a basket of clothes downstairs.
I could see that ‘battery low’ light flashing on his laptop, so I picked it up and plugged in the charger. I took it off of hibernate and his wallpaper came up. A topless picture of him, showing his packs etc … so vain.
After about half an hour, he came back upstairs and sat down.
“My mum’s gone work now… she took Jermaine (his brother) to Kellie’s yard. Did I tell you to touch my laptop??” he dragged it out of my hands and turned it off.
“You’re so rude… if you think ima let you introduce me to Larry now you mussa mad!” I slapped his little bean head and then we started play fighting on the bed. He threw me off of the bed and then pulled me back onto it.
“Arghh … u prick man!” I said pushing him off of me. I weren’t even in the mood for his shit anymore.
“Call me a prick one more time and see if I don't strip you.” He was daring me, and I aint one to step down from a dare.
“You. Prick.” He held me down on the bed and got on top of me.
“Badgyal yeah??” he said. I nodded my head
He sat on my belly and undid my belt and pulled down my jeans, leaving me in just my top and my knickers
“Do you still wanna test me?” he looked into my eyes, I could tell he wanted to fuck me. Bad.
“Why not??” we both knew what we wanted, we’re both grown(ish) so what’s the problem? What he did next surprised me; he got off of me and walked out of the room…
Alright then. I get the message. I got up and put my jeans and belt back on picked up my hoodie from the end of the bed and was in the process of putting it on when he came back in the room.
“Who told you to get dressed?” I just ignored him and took my phone out of my bag. I had some texts from people; how could I not have heard my phone jingle? I was paying too much attention to my phone because I didn’t clock he was behind me until he put his hand around my waist. I tried shrugging him off but it didn’t work. He started kissing on my neck and shit, I hate to admit it but he was turning me on.
Next thing I knew we were laying on the bed, both of us butt naked, with his mouth on my left breast and his fingers in my vagina. The heat I was feeling in my body was fucking indescribable… I couldn't do anything except moan and pant. He stopped sucking on my nipple and whispered in my ear:
“So you wanna do this ting yeah??” His seduction has worked and my plan to resist had failed.
So, stupidly, I nodded and went along with it… I didn’t watch his movement’s coz by these times I had closed my eyes, but I could hear all the sounds; him ripping open the condom packet etc…
“Are you sure you even wanna do this?” he questioned. He must have clocked coz my eyes were closed
I opened my eyes
“Why you asking me that?? If I didn’t wanna do it, WOULD I FUCKING BE LAYING HERE BUTT NAKED??” I pushed him away from me, got under the covers and closed my eyes again.
I felt him lift up the covers and then lay down next to me.
“Don’t raise your voice at me,” he simply stated, and then did nothing else. Now the atmosphere was just awkward. I opened my eyes, and was surprised to see him laying on his side staring at me.
“Why you watching my face gee??”
“I dunno … it aint as if it’s a pretty sight” my face dropped, but he started laughing and then he said, “I’m joking man. You know I think you’re beautiful.”
I hate it when people say things like that because I never know how to react, firstly coz I don't think I'm all that, and secondly coz I don't wanna seem big-headed
“Stop blushing, we both know it’s true. If you were ugly, I actually wouldn’t be with you… unless you had a banging personality”
“Your room is cold,” I stated, changing the subject completely.
“Do you want me to warm you up then?” he said, while winking
I chose not to respond. He put his hand under the cover and jiggled my tummy.
“Urghh… don’t do that” gosh man, making my fat jiggle and shit. He just layed there laughing gently.
I got on top of him and whispered in his ear: “I wanna do it.”
He took that as his cue to flip me over and start kissing my neck…
“I bet you can't even make me scream doe.” I challenged
“Is that a dare, yeah?? Just remember you aint sampled any of me yet, so I wouldn’t put all of my money on that bet if I were you.”
While he focused on putting the condom on, I looked towards the window and clocked that it was dark outside…
He got back on top of me and spread both of my legs with his right leg. All I could feel between my legs was the heat emanating from his penis (which from our little foreplay session before, I had discovered really was a ‘Larry’)… I could feel it getting closer and closer until the head was resting against my vagina. He used his thumb to spread my lips (cringe!) and I finally felt the head penetrate me. Then came the hard bit (literally) – getting it in me fully. No-one told him to have such a fucking huge dick otherwise I coulda been riding that shit already KMT!
The pain was making me gasp and moan and shit, but all I wanted was for him to FUCK ME!
“Can you not just force it in?? Taking your sweet time and tings like!” I exclaimed, even though it was becoming a bit hard for me to speak
“Fine, I will” I regretted telling him to force it in instantly, because he did exactly that, and because I wasn’t expecting it I involuntarily let out a scream… grr!
“You screamed.” He stated before kissing me so I couldn't respond.
He slowly pulled out of me, and then put it back in quickly, making me bite his lip. He was stroking me, in and out; nice and slow… even though it still kinda hurt, I was feeling little jolts of pleasure. He took his lips away from mine and all these noises started flowing out my mouth…
“UHH … UHH … UNHHHHHHHHHHH!”
He slowly started pounding into me at a faster pace; he was fucking driving me wild! He grabbed hold of my hips and started pulling me closer to him, so all you could hear was me moaning like a maniac, and our skin smacking together. My hands were rested on his back and shoulders and the pain was making him scratch him up like a cat. The tingles shooting up and down my body were sending me into another world…
“Shit man, why you so fucking tight??” if these were normal circumstances I probably would have responded sarcastically, but I couldn't even speak, so all I did was dig my nails into his face. He grabbed my left leg and threw it over his shoulder, bringing our bodies even closer together and sending him deeper into my vagina. By this point he was pumping into me so hard, like a madman, that my vagina was starting feel numb from the pain… the bed was smacking into the wall, the neighbours definitely knew what was going in here, boy…
“Ahhh… Kyleeee… plish… farghhhh” this boy had me speaking gibberish; I didn’t even know what the fuck I was on about anymore…
I could feel bare heat between my legs, and I knew what was about to happen – I was gonna cum. And when I did it blew my mind. So there it was – my first time, and my first orgasm. I thought Kyle was nowhere near finished until I suddenly felt more heat between my legs – he had FINALLY bussed.
He dragged himself out of me and collapsed next to me.
Chapter 9
We FINALLY got off the tram; it was like going on a journey to the centre of the earth blud. KMT… anyway… as we were walking down the road to his house, I was still texting Tyrone, and I could sense him watching me.
“Who the fuck are you texting so much??” he didn’t wait for me to answer, he just grabbed the phone out of my hands and when I tried to get it he held it out of my reach. Curse him for being 6-foot 3-inches tall. ¬¬
By the time I managed to jump on his back and try and get the phone back he had already looked through half of my inbox… I started slapping his head and then next thing I knew I was lying on the dirty pavement and he was standing there laughing… how rude! I just lay on the floor, pretending I was unconscious. He was still there laughing, he weren’t even tryna help me. I could hear footsteps approaching, but I still kept my eyes closed…
“Kyle… what have you done to her” it was his sister Rachel
This fool was still standing there laughing. I could feel warm breath (not in a bad way) on my face.
“Ciara…” she shook me “are you alrite??” I opened my eyes and nodded my head. Then I remembered I was on the pavement so I jumped up and started wiping myself off.
“You two need to grow up, come on nuh” she walked off in the direction we came from.
I snatched my phone out of his hand and put it back in my bag. I took off my hoodie and shook it off; I just felt so dirty coz I had been laying on the ground.
This fool was STILL laughing kmt. I walked off and let him follow behind like a little dog.
I was walking bare fast, not clocking that someone was shouting until I heard Kyle saying “Shut the fuck up” to someone. I turned around and saw some random boy standing there, but I hadn’t even heard what he said.
Kyle grabbed my arm and dragged me up the road to his house…
We finally got to his house after what seemed like ten million years, and we were in his room on his bed. He kept tryna make a move on me, but I felt like making him wait for a bit first.
I got up and went to the toilet… when I came back into the room, I was about to lay down next to him but he grabbed me and pulled me on top of him, and then flipped over so I couldn't get up.
He started kissing my neck etc and then we started lipsing… I was just getting into it and was ready to let his hands start going places and then someone started knocking on the door bare loud…
“KYLE … GET YUH RASS DOWN HERE NOW!” Oh … my … gosh. Talk about a mood killer. He got up and went downstairs to see what his mum wanted and I stayed on the bed.
About five minutes later he came back up with his hand down his trousers (tell-tale sign that he had a boner) and took a basket of clothes downstairs.
I could see that ‘battery low’ light flashing on his laptop, so I picked it up and plugged in the charger. I took it off of hibernate and his wallpaper came up. A topless picture of him, showing his packs etc … so vain.
After about half an hour, he came back upstairs and sat down.
“My mum’s gone work now… she took Jermaine (his brother) to Kellie’s yard. Did I tell you to touch my laptop??” he dragged it out of my hands and turned it off.
“You’re so rude… if you think ima let you introduce me to Larry now you mussa mad!” I slapped his little bean head and then we started play fighting on the bed. He threw me off of the bed and then pulled me back onto it.
“Arghh … u prick man!” I said pushing him off of me. I weren’t even in the mood for his shit anymore.
“Call me a prick one more time and see if I don't strip you.” He was daring me, and I aint one to step down from a dare.
“You. Prick.” He held me down on the bed and got on top of me.
“Badgyal yeah??” he said. I nodded my head
He sat on my belly and undid my belt and pulled down my jeans, leaving me in just my top and my knickers
“Do you still wanna test me?” he looked into my eyes, I could tell he wanted to fuck me. Bad.
“Why not??” we both knew what we wanted, we’re both grown(ish) so what’s the problem? What he did next surprised me; he got off of me and walked out of the room…
Alright then. I get the message. I got up and put my jeans and belt back on picked up my hoodie from the end of the bed and was in the process of putting it on when he came back in the room.
“Who told you to get dressed?” I just ignored him and took my phone out of my bag. I had some texts from people; how could I not have heard my phone jingle? I was paying too much attention to my phone because I didn’t clock he was behind me until he put his hand around my waist. I tried shrugging him off but it didn’t work. He started kissing on my neck and shit, I hate to admit it but he was turning me on.
Next thing I knew we were laying on the bed, both of us butt naked, with his mouth on my left breast and his fingers in my vagina. The heat I was feeling in my body was fucking indescribable… I couldn't do anything except moan and pant. He stopped sucking on my nipple and whispered in my ear:
“So you wanna do this ting yeah??” His seduction has worked and my plan to resist had failed.
So, stupidly, I nodded and went along with it… I didn’t watch his movement’s coz by these times I had closed my eyes, but I could hear all the sounds; him ripping open the condom packet etc…
“Are you sure you even wanna do this?” he questioned. He must have clocked coz my eyes were closed
I opened my eyes
“Why you asking me that?? If I didn’t wanna do it, WOULD I FUCKING BE LAYING HERE BUTT NAKED??” I pushed him away from me, got under the covers and closed my eyes again.
I felt him lift up the covers and then lay down next to me.
“Don’t raise your voice at me,” he simply stated, and then did nothing else. Now the atmosphere was just awkward. I opened my eyes, and was surprised to see him laying on his side staring at me.
“Why you watching my face gee??”
“I dunno … it aint as if it’s a pretty sight” my face dropped, but he started laughing and then he said, “I’m joking man. You know I think you’re beautiful.”
I hate it when people say things like that because I never know how to react, firstly coz I don't think I'm all that, and secondly coz I don't wanna seem big-headed
“Stop blushing, we both know it’s true. If you were ugly, I actually wouldn’t be with you… unless you had a banging personality”
“Your room is cold,” I stated, changing the subject completely.
“Do you want me to warm you up then?” he said, while winking
I chose not to respond. He put his hand under the cover and jiggled my tummy.
“Urghh… don’t do that” gosh man, making my fat jiggle and shit. He just layed there laughing gently.
I got on top of him and whispered in his ear: “I wanna do it.”
He took that as his cue to flip me over and start kissing my neck…
“I bet you can't even make me scream doe.” I challenged
“Is that a dare, yeah?? Just remember you aint sampled any of me yet, so I wouldn’t put all of my money on that bet if I were you.”
While he focused on putting the condom on, I looked towards the window and clocked that it was dark outside…
He got back on top of me and spread both of my legs with his right leg. All I could feel between my legs was the heat emanating from his penis (which from our little foreplay session before, I had discovered really was a ‘Larry’)… I could feel it getting closer and closer until the head was resting against my vagina. He used his thumb to spread my lips (cringe!) and I finally felt the head penetrate me. Then came the hard bit (literally) – getting it in me fully. No-one told him to have such a fucking huge dick otherwise I coulda been riding that shit already KMT!
The pain was making me gasp and moan and shit, but all I wanted was for him to FUCK ME!
“Can you not just force it in?? Taking your sweet time and tings like!” I exclaimed, even though it was becoming a bit hard for me to speak
“Fine, I will” I regretted telling him to force it in instantly, because he did exactly that, and because I wasn’t expecting it I involuntarily let out a scream… grr!
“You screamed.” He stated before kissing me so I couldn't respond.
He slowly pulled out of me, and then put it back in quickly, making me bite his lip. He was stroking me, in and out; nice and slow… even though it still kinda hurt, I was feeling little jolts of pleasure. He took his lips away from mine and all these noises started flowing out my mouth…
“UHH … UHH … UNHHHHHHHHHHH!”
He slowly started pounding into me at a faster pace; he was fucking driving me wild! He grabbed hold of my hips and started pulling me closer to him, so all you could hear was me moaning like a maniac, and our skin smacking together. My hands were rested on his back and shoulders and the pain was making him scratch him up like a cat. The tingles shooting up and down my body were sending me into another world…
“Shit man, why you so fucking tight??” if these were normal circumstances I probably would have responded sarcastically, but I couldn't even speak, so all I did was dig my nails into his face. He grabbed my left leg and threw it over his shoulder, bringing our bodies even closer together and sending him deeper into my vagina. By this point he was pumping into me so hard, like a madman, that my vagina was starting feel numb from the pain… the bed was smacking into the wall, the neighbours definitely knew what was going in here, boy…
“Ahhh… Kyleeee… plish… farghhhh” this boy had me speaking gibberish; I didn’t even know what the fuck I was on about anymore…
I could feel bare heat between my legs, and I knew what was about to happen – I was gonna cum. And when I did it blew my mind. So there it was – my first time, and my first orgasm. I thought Kyle was nowhere near finished until I suddenly felt more heat between my legs – he had FINALLY bussed.
He dragged himself out of me and collapsed next to me.
Thursday, 18 March 2010
Chapter 8
Chapter 8
A week had passed since my birthday. Today I had a hospital appointment so I wasn’t going into college. My mum had to go into work, so my cousin Chelsea was going with me. My appointment wasn’t until 1:45 so I was just jamming on Facebook, and on the phone to Kyle coz he still hadn’t started uni. Lucky fucker…
“So are you gonna come and see me or not?” he asked
I started laughing coz he had been asking me this same question for the majority of our conversation
“Which part of ‘I have a hospital appointment’ do you not understand, love??” I asked.
“Well obviously I’m talking about afterwards. Durhhh”
“Give me at least five good reasons why.” I knew he wouldn’t be able to live up to the challenge, but if I was feeling nice, I would grace him with my presence.
“Ermm … coz I’m hot. Because … I didn’t give you your birthday present yet. Because you think I’m hot … ermm… I can’t think man…”
“Well you best get to thinkin bwoi…” I make myself laugh sometimes
“Ermm because you wanna sex me, and because I want you to meet my friend Larry” I burst out laughing after he said that and I didn’t stop for a while…
“Who the fuck is Larry??” I said after my laughter calmed down a little bit.
He went silent for a bit so I thought he didn’t hear me.
“Well basically, he’s this guy I know very well. He’s about 19 years old, he’s quite tall, he’s quite chubby … me and him are about the same colour complexion. Yeah, that’s Larry.” I started laughing uncontrollably again, even though I didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about
After my laughing fit was over I managed to speak again
“Who are you talking about, seriously?? Coz me and you both know that you don’t know anybody called Larry” I sat there patiently waiting for him to answer…
“You are so stupid … how can you not have clocked it yet?”
“Can you give me a proper description please… coz I’m actually at a loss, I even went to the extent of searching your friends on Facebook”
“My God, you are a dumb fuck. I’m talking about my special friend who hangs down south.”
Then I clocked on. He was talking about his penis.
“You are the most disgusting creature ever, just for making that nasty statement I’m not stepping foot in your house” I said, and hung up the phone.
I went to have a shower, and when I came back to my room, I looked at my phone, and saw I had a text from Kyle: ‘See u at 4 x’
I texted back: ‘yea u wish love’
Just as I finished getting dressed my doorbell rang. I ran downstairs and opened the door for my cousin Chelsea. My girl didn’t even speak she just went straight to the kitchen for food.
We soon left and made our way to the hospital. I was gonna be having some blood tests and shit coz my doctors think there’s something wrong with me coz I have heavy periods. Anyways…
Whilst we were waiting for the doctor to call us in, I was texting Kyle, while Chelsea sat there screw-facing because she doesn’t like Kyle … but she won't tell me why…
Chelsea’s always been like a sister to me even though we didn’t always live close to each other. She moved in with us when we moved back from Brazil.
The doctor finally called us in, and we talked about what was wrong with me. He felt up my stomach for a bit and then extracted some blood (yikes!) and then he said I would be called back when the results came.
When we left, it was bare sunny outside the hospital. I checked my watch… the time was 3:00 … and right on cue Kyle decided to call me.
“Are you out of the hospital now??”
“Yeah, why where are you??”
“I went to Croydon, to buy you a birthday card”
“Yeah, a week later.” I kissed my teeth, “so where do you want me to meet you?” there was a bus coming, going near Croydon so Chelsea and I jumped on it.
He told me to call him when I got near Croydon, so I hung up and put my head on Chelsea’s shoulder, but she pushed it off.
She had been acting like such a bitch since I told her I was going out with Kyle but that’s her business bruv.
We didn’t speak for the whole bus journey but when we finally got into Croydon, I decided to have it out with her. We got off the bus and was about to walk off but I grabbed her arm.
“What the fuck is you’re problem Chelsea?? Ever since I told you that I’m going out with Kyle you’ve been going on so booky.” I realised how cold it was so I quickly put on my hoody, and waited for Chelsea to answer.
She stood up and rolled her eyes.
“It’s nothing” she said and walked off.
I didn’t have time for this bitch man. I picked up my bag and got my phone out of it. I was about to call Kyle and my phone started ringing. It was some random number…
“Hello…”
“Ciara … its Kellie … Kyle said you should meet him at the tram stop in East Croydon” and then she locked off. Rude little bitch. Me and Kellie never really got along, we were just kinda forced to be friends coz we had bare mutual friends.
I hated coming to Croydon, it was so loud and noisy, and people were always watching my face and shit… I couldn't even walk through the town centre without people shouting obscenities at me…
After jumping on a bus to east Croydon, I was standing there waiting for ‘Larry’. I walked over to the Oyster thingy and was beeped mine. I remembered that it was gonna expire in like two weeks and I still hadn’t even sent my application.
“Wa gwarn Larry?!” I shouted out bare loud when he got near me and I started laughing like a loon again…
“What the fuck is wrong with you man, you’re so black” this boy better not test me…
When we got on the tram, my mum’s friend’s daughter, Camilla, was on the tram. I said hi to her and was gonna go about my business, but she stopped me and asked who Kyle was. I introduced them, but I didn’t say who he was and then we went and sat down. I sat down opposite him, with my back facing Camilla…
“This tram is for Elmers End. The next stop will be Lebanon Road”
I received a text from Tyrone, and because I was replying I stopped paying attention to Kyle.
If I had been, I would have noticed him and Camilla making eye contact and mouthing stuff at each other…
A week had passed since my birthday. Today I had a hospital appointment so I wasn’t going into college. My mum had to go into work, so my cousin Chelsea was going with me. My appointment wasn’t until 1:45 so I was just jamming on Facebook, and on the phone to Kyle coz he still hadn’t started uni. Lucky fucker…
“So are you gonna come and see me or not?” he asked
I started laughing coz he had been asking me this same question for the majority of our conversation
“Which part of ‘I have a hospital appointment’ do you not understand, love??” I asked.
“Well obviously I’m talking about afterwards. Durhhh”
“Give me at least five good reasons why.” I knew he wouldn’t be able to live up to the challenge, but if I was feeling nice, I would grace him with my presence.
“Ermm … coz I’m hot. Because … I didn’t give you your birthday present yet. Because you think I’m hot … ermm… I can’t think man…”
“Well you best get to thinkin bwoi…” I make myself laugh sometimes
“Ermm because you wanna sex me, and because I want you to meet my friend Larry” I burst out laughing after he said that and I didn’t stop for a while…
“Who the fuck is Larry??” I said after my laughter calmed down a little bit.
He went silent for a bit so I thought he didn’t hear me.
“Well basically, he’s this guy I know very well. He’s about 19 years old, he’s quite tall, he’s quite chubby … me and him are about the same colour complexion. Yeah, that’s Larry.” I started laughing uncontrollably again, even though I didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about
After my laughing fit was over I managed to speak again
“Who are you talking about, seriously?? Coz me and you both know that you don’t know anybody called Larry” I sat there patiently waiting for him to answer…
“You are so stupid … how can you not have clocked it yet?”
“Can you give me a proper description please… coz I’m actually at a loss, I even went to the extent of searching your friends on Facebook”
“My God, you are a dumb fuck. I’m talking about my special friend who hangs down south.”
Then I clocked on. He was talking about his penis.
“You are the most disgusting creature ever, just for making that nasty statement I’m not stepping foot in your house” I said, and hung up the phone.
I went to have a shower, and when I came back to my room, I looked at my phone, and saw I had a text from Kyle: ‘See u at 4 x’
I texted back: ‘yea u wish love’
Just as I finished getting dressed my doorbell rang. I ran downstairs and opened the door for my cousin Chelsea. My girl didn’t even speak she just went straight to the kitchen for food.
We soon left and made our way to the hospital. I was gonna be having some blood tests and shit coz my doctors think there’s something wrong with me coz I have heavy periods. Anyways…
Whilst we were waiting for the doctor to call us in, I was texting Kyle, while Chelsea sat there screw-facing because she doesn’t like Kyle … but she won't tell me why…
Chelsea’s always been like a sister to me even though we didn’t always live close to each other. She moved in with us when we moved back from Brazil.
The doctor finally called us in, and we talked about what was wrong with me. He felt up my stomach for a bit and then extracted some blood (yikes!) and then he said I would be called back when the results came.
When we left, it was bare sunny outside the hospital. I checked my watch… the time was 3:00 … and right on cue Kyle decided to call me.
“Are you out of the hospital now??”
“Yeah, why where are you??”
“I went to Croydon, to buy you a birthday card”
“Yeah, a week later.” I kissed my teeth, “so where do you want me to meet you?” there was a bus coming, going near Croydon so Chelsea and I jumped on it.
He told me to call him when I got near Croydon, so I hung up and put my head on Chelsea’s shoulder, but she pushed it off.
She had been acting like such a bitch since I told her I was going out with Kyle but that’s her business bruv.
We didn’t speak for the whole bus journey but when we finally got into Croydon, I decided to have it out with her. We got off the bus and was about to walk off but I grabbed her arm.
“What the fuck is you’re problem Chelsea?? Ever since I told you that I’m going out with Kyle you’ve been going on so booky.” I realised how cold it was so I quickly put on my hoody, and waited for Chelsea to answer.
She stood up and rolled her eyes.
“It’s nothing” she said and walked off.
I didn’t have time for this bitch man. I picked up my bag and got my phone out of it. I was about to call Kyle and my phone started ringing. It was some random number…
“Hello…”
“Ciara … its Kellie … Kyle said you should meet him at the tram stop in East Croydon” and then she locked off. Rude little bitch. Me and Kellie never really got along, we were just kinda forced to be friends coz we had bare mutual friends.
I hated coming to Croydon, it was so loud and noisy, and people were always watching my face and shit… I couldn't even walk through the town centre without people shouting obscenities at me…
After jumping on a bus to east Croydon, I was standing there waiting for ‘Larry’. I walked over to the Oyster thingy and was beeped mine. I remembered that it was gonna expire in like two weeks and I still hadn’t even sent my application.
“Wa gwarn Larry?!” I shouted out bare loud when he got near me and I started laughing like a loon again…
“What the fuck is wrong with you man, you’re so black” this boy better not test me…
When we got on the tram, my mum’s friend’s daughter, Camilla, was on the tram. I said hi to her and was gonna go about my business, but she stopped me and asked who Kyle was. I introduced them, but I didn’t say who he was and then we went and sat down. I sat down opposite him, with my back facing Camilla…
“This tram is for Elmers End. The next stop will be Lebanon Road”
I received a text from Tyrone, and because I was replying I stopped paying attention to Kyle.
If I had been, I would have noticed him and Camilla making eye contact and mouthing stuff at each other…
Saturday, 6 March 2010
Chapter 7
A few months had passed since all that gay drama with my brother… he was still a bit off with me and Kyle. Me and him had been fighting a bit recently as well coz he wanted to tell the whole world that we were dealing, but I wanted to keep it on the DL coz people already chat my name enough.
Today was the day of my 17th birthday :). I was sitting in my bedroom, wrapped up in a towel coz I had just come out of the bath. It was only like 6:30 in the morning but I had woken up bare early coz I couldn't sleep.
I took off my towel and stood in front of my mirror, analysing my body. I actually hated my body … I’m not skinny, just ‘slim’ I have humongous hips and legs though which I hate coz they look so fuckin huge. To make things worse I’m fucking flat chested as well … Well, I’m a 34B but that’s fucking tiny mate. The only thing that I think boys could find remotely attractive about my body is the fact that I have a fucking huge ass and green-hazel eyes.
ANYWAYS… I got dressed into one of those high-waisted H&M skirts in black, a white top and a blue Adidas jacket. It sounds odd but it looked decent.
I went downstairs and sat in front of the TV for a bit and then ate some breakfast. Coz my mum doesn’t work on Friday’s I went into her room to ask for money.
As I was walking to the bus stop, I felt my phone vibrating. It was my godsister Karina …
“Hello…”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH!” I started creasing bare, whilst I was like tryna cross the road so some cars started beeping at me… “Damn, I thought you would still be asleep so I could wake you up!”
“Shut up you hoe. You are still coming tonight init?” I asked. My mum was forcing me to have a little get together/sleepover coz she said I’m a boring fuck coz I never do anything for my birthday.
“Yeah, me, Meisha and Rianna are coming … do you still want me to bring a few niggas??”
“Yeah, yeah … but anyways I’m getting on the bus now, so ima call you when I finish colly or suttin” I locked off the phone and got on my bus to the tube station.
The one person I wanted to hear from, Kyle, was the one person I hadn’t heard from all morning … I had a free period, so I decided to go and use one of the computers. I logged into Facebook. I had bare notifications from people saying ‘Happy Birthday’. I clicked on my info tab and changed my relationship status to ‘In a Relationship with Kyle Waithe’. He can’t even chat shit anymore.
I appeared online on facebook chat to see who was online, and there he was. I was baffled as to why he was at home on a Friday morning then I remembered he hadn’t started uni yet. Believe it or not this ‘Ghetto’ guy actually goes to uni… anyways I made myself offline again before people started talking nonsense to me. Some more people came into the common room; including my friend Tyrone … we were just talking casually for a bit, until the pips went for the beginning of break. I logged off of Facebook, without checking my notifications that had popped up, and then went and jammed on one of the sofas. My next lesson was Dance, so I went and quickly got changed and came back to the common room.
The day flew by quickly and I finally left college at 3pm. I went home, tidied up a bit and then had a shower. These times it was like 6pm, so I went downstairs and started making some food and stuff. I had told everyone to be here by 6:30, but knowing these black people they wouldn’t get here until 7:30.
My phone started ringing, it was my cousin Georgina.
“We’re nearly there, my mum’s dropping me and Monifa” my girl didn’t even say hello, just started talking, silly gyal
“Yeah, yeah whatever. My doorbell’s ringing now so I’ll just see you when you get here” just as I opened the door for my girls Kiera, Harmony, Frankie, Helena & Maria, my phone started ringing again. I answered my phone and gave directions to Amanda. After that, my doorbell and phone rang like every five minutes, it was so annoying. After that, I ignored any calls and concentrated on preparing some snacks and drinks.
After a while, everyone had arrived and we were all in the living room bussing jokes … my mum had just come home, so she had taken over making the drinks and stuff. After a while the mandem left, and it was time for us girls to get wild! We got changed into our pyjamas and stuff and then went back downstairs. We started playing truth or dare … I dared Frankie and Monique to get naked and run down to the end of my road. Monifa wasn’t down, so Maria did it instead. Don't think these girls didn’t strip off and then we all went outside to watch them running in opposite directions down my road, and back up. It was fucking jokes mate …. After a few more crazy dares it was my turn to choose truth or dare. I stupidly chose truth, forgetting I was jamming with some of the biggest bitches I know.
Monifa decided to pipe up with her big mouth: “why are you going out with a granddad?” everyone else was baffled, coz obviously not everyone had been on Facebook
“What’s she talking about??” asked Harmony. Despite the fact that Monifa was my cousin, I hated her with a passion at times. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“Me and Kyle, yes Kyle as in Kellie’s cousin, are dealing.” The way everyone took some sharp breaths in, you could feel the lack of oxygen within the room. I heard my phone make the text message sound again, from the kitchen, so I went to go and check it.
It was a message from Kyle
‘Why u airing my calls…? Man was only tryna say happy bday. What you on tomorrow?”
I read and re-read the message over again and my brain went into heavy thought mode. Was the relationship actually going to be worth all of the hassle?
I went back to the living room, where Harmony was tryna explain to Maria who Kyle was, despite the fact that we all went to the same school.
“So what do you lot wanna do now??” I asked, hoping nobody would bring Kyle up.
Despite the fact that we were all 16 or 17, we started making prank calls to random numbers, doing bare different accents… I loved these little immature moments with my friends
I had replied to Kyle’s message when I first saw it. The next morning I woke up to a message from him again, saying that he wanted to see me today, coz he didn’t get to see me on my actually birthday.
****
After the girls left, I had a shower and then tried to find an outfit. The time was 1pm; he said he would be here at 2:30. In the end I decided to put on some low cut, long-sleeved white top, and leggings. I couldn't decide whether or not to wear a bra, it aint like my chest was going anywhere … I picked up one of my push up bras and just put it on and then tried to do my hair before I got fully dressed. In my opinion, I look decent.
I looked around my room, and realised the place was a mess, so I picked up all the dirty clothes off the floor, dashed them in their basket thingy and sprayed some air freshener. Even though my mum was out for the whole day, I didn’t wanna jam in the living room. I made my bed and then quickly went to the toilet.
The doorbell rang, and I looked at my watch; it was 2:15. I wlked down the stairs slowly and opened the door. My man didn’t even let me say hello or nothing, he just walked in and started kissing me…
Today was the day of my 17th birthday :). I was sitting in my bedroom, wrapped up in a towel coz I had just come out of the bath. It was only like 6:30 in the morning but I had woken up bare early coz I couldn't sleep.
I took off my towel and stood in front of my mirror, analysing my body. I actually hated my body … I’m not skinny, just ‘slim’ I have humongous hips and legs though which I hate coz they look so fuckin huge. To make things worse I’m fucking flat chested as well … Well, I’m a 34B but that’s fucking tiny mate. The only thing that I think boys could find remotely attractive about my body is the fact that I have a fucking huge ass and green-hazel eyes.
ANYWAYS… I got dressed into one of those high-waisted H&M skirts in black, a white top and a blue Adidas jacket. It sounds odd but it looked decent.
I went downstairs and sat in front of the TV for a bit and then ate some breakfast. Coz my mum doesn’t work on Friday’s I went into her room to ask for money.
As I was walking to the bus stop, I felt my phone vibrating. It was my godsister Karina …
“Hello…”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH!” I started creasing bare, whilst I was like tryna cross the road so some cars started beeping at me… “Damn, I thought you would still be asleep so I could wake you up!”
“Shut up you hoe. You are still coming tonight init?” I asked. My mum was forcing me to have a little get together/sleepover coz she said I’m a boring fuck coz I never do anything for my birthday.
“Yeah, me, Meisha and Rianna are coming … do you still want me to bring a few niggas??”
“Yeah, yeah … but anyways I’m getting on the bus now, so ima call you when I finish colly or suttin” I locked off the phone and got on my bus to the tube station.
The one person I wanted to hear from, Kyle, was the one person I hadn’t heard from all morning … I had a free period, so I decided to go and use one of the computers. I logged into Facebook. I had bare notifications from people saying ‘Happy Birthday’. I clicked on my info tab and changed my relationship status to ‘In a Relationship with Kyle Waithe’. He can’t even chat shit anymore.
I appeared online on facebook chat to see who was online, and there he was. I was baffled as to why he was at home on a Friday morning then I remembered he hadn’t started uni yet. Believe it or not this ‘Ghetto’ guy actually goes to uni… anyways I made myself offline again before people started talking nonsense to me. Some more people came into the common room; including my friend Tyrone … we were just talking casually for a bit, until the pips went for the beginning of break. I logged off of Facebook, without checking my notifications that had popped up, and then went and jammed on one of the sofas. My next lesson was Dance, so I went and quickly got changed and came back to the common room.
The day flew by quickly and I finally left college at 3pm. I went home, tidied up a bit and then had a shower. These times it was like 6pm, so I went downstairs and started making some food and stuff. I had told everyone to be here by 6:30, but knowing these black people they wouldn’t get here until 7:30.
My phone started ringing, it was my cousin Georgina.
“We’re nearly there, my mum’s dropping me and Monifa” my girl didn’t even say hello, just started talking, silly gyal
“Yeah, yeah whatever. My doorbell’s ringing now so I’ll just see you when you get here” just as I opened the door for my girls Kiera, Harmony, Frankie, Helena & Maria, my phone started ringing again. I answered my phone and gave directions to Amanda. After that, my doorbell and phone rang like every five minutes, it was so annoying. After that, I ignored any calls and concentrated on preparing some snacks and drinks.
After a while, everyone had arrived and we were all in the living room bussing jokes … my mum had just come home, so she had taken over making the drinks and stuff. After a while the mandem left, and it was time for us girls to get wild! We got changed into our pyjamas and stuff and then went back downstairs. We started playing truth or dare … I dared Frankie and Monique to get naked and run down to the end of my road. Monifa wasn’t down, so Maria did it instead. Don't think these girls didn’t strip off and then we all went outside to watch them running in opposite directions down my road, and back up. It was fucking jokes mate …. After a few more crazy dares it was my turn to choose truth or dare. I stupidly chose truth, forgetting I was jamming with some of the biggest bitches I know.
Monifa decided to pipe up with her big mouth: “why are you going out with a granddad?” everyone else was baffled, coz obviously not everyone had been on Facebook
“What’s she talking about??” asked Harmony. Despite the fact that Monifa was my cousin, I hated her with a passion at times. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“Me and Kyle, yes Kyle as in Kellie’s cousin, are dealing.” The way everyone took some sharp breaths in, you could feel the lack of oxygen within the room. I heard my phone make the text message sound again, from the kitchen, so I went to go and check it.
It was a message from Kyle
‘Why u airing my calls…? Man was only tryna say happy bday. What you on tomorrow?”
I read and re-read the message over again and my brain went into heavy thought mode. Was the relationship actually going to be worth all of the hassle?
I went back to the living room, where Harmony was tryna explain to Maria who Kyle was, despite the fact that we all went to the same school.
“So what do you lot wanna do now??” I asked, hoping nobody would bring Kyle up.
Despite the fact that we were all 16 or 17, we started making prank calls to random numbers, doing bare different accents… I loved these little immature moments with my friends
I had replied to Kyle’s message when I first saw it. The next morning I woke up to a message from him again, saying that he wanted to see me today, coz he didn’t get to see me on my actually birthday.
****
After the girls left, I had a shower and then tried to find an outfit. The time was 1pm; he said he would be here at 2:30. In the end I decided to put on some low cut, long-sleeved white top, and leggings. I couldn't decide whether or not to wear a bra, it aint like my chest was going anywhere … I picked up one of my push up bras and just put it on and then tried to do my hair before I got fully dressed. In my opinion, I look decent.
I looked around my room, and realised the place was a mess, so I picked up all the dirty clothes off the floor, dashed them in their basket thingy and sprayed some air freshener. Even though my mum was out for the whole day, I didn’t wanna jam in the living room. I made my bed and then quickly went to the toilet.
The doorbell rang, and I looked at my watch; it was 2:15. I wlked down the stairs slowly and opened the door. My man didn’t even let me say hello or nothing, he just walked in and started kissing me…
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
CHARACTER INFO..
Mentioned:
CIARA-MELISSA – She’s the main character. She’s from Brazil, Venezuela, Barbados, Jamaica, China and Ireland … She has an average body, green/hazel eyes. She has four brothers, no sisters and she lives with her mum.
KYLE – Ciara’s boyfriend. He’s from Jamaica … he has a built-up body and brown eyes. He has on older brother, a twin sister and a little brother. He was born in Jamaica, but moved to England when he was ten, with all of his family except his dad.
TYRELL – One of Ciara’s brothers, he’s the youngest boy of the family. Obviously from the same countries as Ciara. He also has a built-up body and hazel eyes.
KELLIE – Kyle’s cousin, also from Jamaica. No-one important really.
ANTON – another of Ciara’s brother’s. He is known as ‘Psycho’ by a few people in ends, because he is a bit of a psycho at times.
MONIFA – Ciara’s cousin from her dad’s side. Her mum is Ciara’s aunt. She’s from Jamaica. Her and Ciara don’t always get along, coz she can be a bit bitchy, and man-hungry.
GEORGINA – Ciara’s cousin from her dad’s side. From Jamaica as well. Her and Monifa are closer than her and Ciara.
KARINA – Ciara’s godsister. They used to live on the same estate, before Ciara’s family moved. She’s from Grenada and France. A typical rudegyal, her and Neisha are cousins.
MEISHA – Karina (Ciara’s godsister)’s cousin. From Jamaica and Grenada. She’s another typical rudegyal, always ready to fuck someone up.
RIANNA – one of Ciara’s best friends. She’s Indo-Trinidadian. She also lived on the same estate as Karina, Meisha and Ciara.
SHANICE – one of Ciara’s friends from school. From Ghana. She’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is’ kinda girl.
HARMONY-RENEE – another of Ciara’s friends, they also go to the same college. She’s from Ghana. Can be rude at times, but she wasn’t always like this. She doesn’t trust mandem, but she’s always watching man.
FRANCESCA (FRANKIE) – she had a bit of a hoeish past, but claims that she’s changed… we’ll see. She’s from Jamaica, Ireland, Portugal and India. Often tries to pass for mixed-race, but she’s actually Quarter-cast.
HELENA – she started their school at the same time as Ciara. She’s best friends with Monique and Maria. She’s one of those girls who falls in love to quickly, and then gets her heart broken. She’s from India & Wales.
MARIA – she can be a bit of a hoe, doesn’t really know how to say no to man. She’s from Spain, Portugal & Barbados
TYRONE – Ciara’s friend from college. Everyone thinks they like each other. She doesn’t like him, but he likes her, though he’s hiding it.
Not Yet Mentioned:
CHELSEA - Ciara's cousin from her dad's side. She's like her older sister
RACHEL – Kyle’s twin sister
DEROME – Kyle’s friend
BRADLEY – Rianna’s man
STEPHEN – Monifa’s man
MOHAMMED – Maria’s man. These two are always fucking with each other, not just in a sexual way either.
CAMILLA - She's Spanish & Filipino, but claims to be Latina ¬¬ ... She's just pretty much a facebook hoe
All of these characters will be a main part of the storyline at some point or another, any other characters you won’t really need background info on.
CIARA-MELISSA – She’s the main character. She’s from Brazil, Venezuela, Barbados, Jamaica, China and Ireland … She has an average body, green/hazel eyes. She has four brothers, no sisters and she lives with her mum.
KYLE – Ciara’s boyfriend. He’s from Jamaica … he has a built-up body and brown eyes. He has on older brother, a twin sister and a little brother. He was born in Jamaica, but moved to England when he was ten, with all of his family except his dad.
TYRELL – One of Ciara’s brothers, he’s the youngest boy of the family. Obviously from the same countries as Ciara. He also has a built-up body and hazel eyes.
KELLIE – Kyle’s cousin, also from Jamaica. No-one important really.
ANTON – another of Ciara’s brother’s. He is known as ‘Psycho’ by a few people in ends, because he is a bit of a psycho at times.
MONIFA – Ciara’s cousin from her dad’s side. Her mum is Ciara’s aunt. She’s from Jamaica. Her and Ciara don’t always get along, coz she can be a bit bitchy, and man-hungry.
GEORGINA – Ciara’s cousin from her dad’s side. From Jamaica as well. Her and Monifa are closer than her and Ciara.
KARINA – Ciara’s godsister. They used to live on the same estate, before Ciara’s family moved. She’s from Grenada and France. A typical rudegyal, her and Neisha are cousins.
MEISHA – Karina (Ciara’s godsister)’s cousin. From Jamaica and Grenada. She’s another typical rudegyal, always ready to fuck someone up.
RIANNA – one of Ciara’s best friends. She’s Indo-Trinidadian. She also lived on the same estate as Karina, Meisha and Ciara.
SHANICE – one of Ciara’s friends from school. From Ghana. She’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is’ kinda girl.
HARMONY-RENEE – another of Ciara’s friends, they also go to the same college. She’s from Ghana. Can be rude at times, but she wasn’t always like this. She doesn’t trust mandem, but she’s always watching man.
FRANCESCA (FRANKIE) – she had a bit of a hoeish past, but claims that she’s changed… we’ll see. She’s from Jamaica, Ireland, Portugal and India. Often tries to pass for mixed-race, but she’s actually Quarter-cast.
HELENA – she started their school at the same time as Ciara. She’s best friends with Monique and Maria. She’s one of those girls who falls in love to quickly, and then gets her heart broken. She’s from India & Wales.
MARIA – she can be a bit of a hoe, doesn’t really know how to say no to man. She’s from Spain, Portugal & Barbados
TYRONE – Ciara’s friend from college. Everyone thinks they like each other. She doesn’t like him, but he likes her, though he’s hiding it.
Not Yet Mentioned:
CHELSEA - Ciara's cousin from her dad's side. She's like her older sister
RACHEL – Kyle’s twin sister
DEROME – Kyle’s friend
BRADLEY – Rianna’s man
STEPHEN – Monifa’s man
MOHAMMED – Maria’s man. These two are always fucking with each other, not just in a sexual way either.
CAMILLA - She's Spanish & Filipino, but claims to be Latina ¬¬ ... She's just pretty much a facebook hoe
All of these characters will be a main part of the storyline at some point or another, any other characters you won’t really need background info on.
Saturday, 27 February 2010
Chapter 6
He started unbuckling his belt and I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the pain...
“Ay lowe her man, we weren’t even doing shit ... she was asleep and I came and knocked on the door to bring you in on some shit” the room was just silent and I weren’t feeling no impacts on my body so I opened my eyes.
Tyrell was standing there like the cogs in his brain were turning ...
“Nothing’s going on yeah ... so what you’re the ‘boomting lighty’ that Marcus and them were talking about...? The one that caused you to get pissed with them Stockwell niggas.... SKEEEN!!! I should have clocked. I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING CLOCKED. ALWAYS GOT YOUR EYES ON MY SISTER, BUT I THOUGHT NAH, HE’S JUST FANTASISING AND SHIT ... NAH NAH NAH .... I SHOULD HAVE FUCKED YOU UP THAT TIME WHEN DARIUS SAID YOU FUCKING LIKED HER.... MY BOY ... MY BOY AND MY SISTER.” He looked at me, and put his belt back on. “Say nay init, don’t come to me when he fucks around on you with some next light skin sket ... fucking obsessed with lighties....” Tyrell walked out of my room mumbling to himself.
I layed on my bedroom floor for a bit longer and started getting up. Kemar walked over and helped me up.
“Are you alright??” I nodded my head, and then felt some sharp pain at the back of my head. I put my hand there, but luckily there was no blood. I looked at my bedroom floor. When Tyrell dashed me across the room bare of my shit went flying off my desk. I didn’t even bother to pick it up. I suddenly started feeling dizzy and the room started spinning. The next thing I knew Kyle had lifted me up and carried me over to my bed.
Just as he put the covers over me, my mum walked into the room
“Ciara ... what the hell is going on?? Why is all your shit on the floor?” yes my mum swears openly like that, she don’t even see it as a ting, but when I swear she’s ready to bruck my rass ... you should hear her speakin patois like say shes not South American .. Anyways ... I think my mum clocked I wasn’t in a talking mood so she started questioning him instead
“Why are you two in here alone??” Kyle looked at me like he didn’t know what to say ... I nodded as if to say ‘tell her’
“We’re ... going out now ...” you should have seen the way my mum’s face try twiss up ...
“Are you not like 20??” oh gosh, here we go.... “What, you can’t get girls your own age, is that it??” my mum was being so unnecessarily rude...
“MUM!!” I shouted, my voice cracked nicely as well, “are you not the one always preaching to me about following my heart, and not ending up like you, practically a single mother to five nappy-head children??”
“Whatever ... on both your head’s be it when Tyrell & Anton find out” she started laughing, then kissed her teeth and walked out, mumbling in Portuguese.
I started feeling bare tired, so I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. I felt his weight moving about on the bed so I opened my eyes
“I’m gonna go and talk to Tyrell now ... and then I’m going home. I’ll call you in the morning” he kissed me on the forehead and walked out.
I heard my bedroom door knocking a few hours later. The door opened and Tyrell walked in holding one of those king-size Dairy Milk bars ... he used to do this all the time when we would fight when we were younger. He put it on my bedside drawers and sat down on the bed.
“I’m sorry ... all I’m saying now is that you best get him on a tight leash, or prepare for your heart to be broken very soon. I spoke to Anton before, he thinks its funny ... I don’t. Anyways .. I’m out. Sorry” he kissed me on my forehead as well and went out ... I went back to sleep.
“Ay lowe her man, we weren’t even doing shit ... she was asleep and I came and knocked on the door to bring you in on some shit” the room was just silent and I weren’t feeling no impacts on my body so I opened my eyes.
Tyrell was standing there like the cogs in his brain were turning ...
“Nothing’s going on yeah ... so what you’re the ‘boomting lighty’ that Marcus and them were talking about...? The one that caused you to get pissed with them Stockwell niggas.... SKEEEN!!! I should have clocked. I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING CLOCKED. ALWAYS GOT YOUR EYES ON MY SISTER, BUT I THOUGHT NAH, HE’S JUST FANTASISING AND SHIT ... NAH NAH NAH .... I SHOULD HAVE FUCKED YOU UP THAT TIME WHEN DARIUS SAID YOU FUCKING LIKED HER.... MY BOY ... MY BOY AND MY SISTER.” He looked at me, and put his belt back on. “Say nay init, don’t come to me when he fucks around on you with some next light skin sket ... fucking obsessed with lighties....” Tyrell walked out of my room mumbling to himself.
I layed on my bedroom floor for a bit longer and started getting up. Kemar walked over and helped me up.
“Are you alright??” I nodded my head, and then felt some sharp pain at the back of my head. I put my hand there, but luckily there was no blood. I looked at my bedroom floor. When Tyrell dashed me across the room bare of my shit went flying off my desk. I didn’t even bother to pick it up. I suddenly started feeling dizzy and the room started spinning. The next thing I knew Kyle had lifted me up and carried me over to my bed.
Just as he put the covers over me, my mum walked into the room
“Ciara ... what the hell is going on?? Why is all your shit on the floor?” yes my mum swears openly like that, she don’t even see it as a ting, but when I swear she’s ready to bruck my rass ... you should hear her speakin patois like say shes not South American .. Anyways ... I think my mum clocked I wasn’t in a talking mood so she started questioning him instead
“Why are you two in here alone??” Kyle looked at me like he didn’t know what to say ... I nodded as if to say ‘tell her’
“We’re ... going out now ...” you should have seen the way my mum’s face try twiss up ...
“Are you not like 20??” oh gosh, here we go.... “What, you can’t get girls your own age, is that it??” my mum was being so unnecessarily rude...
“MUM!!” I shouted, my voice cracked nicely as well, “are you not the one always preaching to me about following my heart, and not ending up like you, practically a single mother to five nappy-head children??”
“Whatever ... on both your head’s be it when Tyrell & Anton find out” she started laughing, then kissed her teeth and walked out, mumbling in Portuguese.
I started feeling bare tired, so I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. I felt his weight moving about on the bed so I opened my eyes
“I’m gonna go and talk to Tyrell now ... and then I’m going home. I’ll call you in the morning” he kissed me on the forehead and walked out.
I heard my bedroom door knocking a few hours later. The door opened and Tyrell walked in holding one of those king-size Dairy Milk bars ... he used to do this all the time when we would fight when we were younger. He put it on my bedside drawers and sat down on the bed.
“I’m sorry ... all I’m saying now is that you best get him on a tight leash, or prepare for your heart to be broken very soon. I spoke to Anton before, he thinks its funny ... I don’t. Anyways .. I’m out. Sorry” he kissed me on my forehead as well and went out ... I went back to sleep.
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Chapter 5
It was a shank. Shit, I started praying to god that they would let me go.
“Oi, Seun, leave her the fuck alone man, these south niggas are more equipped than us. Put the fucking shank down” We were still in south London so I didn’t understand why he referred to Kyle’s niggas as south mandem.
‘Seun’ ignored him and said again, “what you got for me bitch??” I heard bare banging come from downstairs, and then some next nigga came up the stairs.
He took a gun out of his boxers and pointed it at ‘Seun’
“You best remove that shank before I have to put a bullet in you” Seun moved the shank from my throat and started laughing. His bredrin banged him in the face and went back in the yard. This mystery nigga took my hand and dragged me down the stairs, to where Kyle was on the phone.
“Yeah … these Stockwell niggas are fucking crazy … I don’t give a fuck, they put a fucking shank to my wife’s neck … listen yeah, stop fucking talking and get these niggas sorted out or I’ll do it myself.” He locked off the phone and walked towards me. He tried to hug me but I just pushed past him and got in the back of the car. The other guy got in the front, and then a car that was identical to ours came past and stopped next to Kyle. They spoke for a bit and then he came and got in the car.
I silently sat in the back of the car for the whole ride; I didn’t speak one word, just put in my headphones and blasted some slow jams…
“So since when did you become a one woman man bredrin??”... That was Kyle’s bredrin talkin…
“What you talking about bruv, who said I’m a one woman man” I heard them start benning and shit … skeen, is that how it is, yeah?? I just risked my life for this fucking nigga and he’s here chatting shit. SNM!
“You said she’s your wife so man just assumed init…??”
“Nah, nah … soon doe init” he caught my eye in the rear mirror and smiled but I just screwed him
“Skeen … you’re fucking obsessed with lighties man … you need to jump on some proper brown skin girls”
“Nah, nah … it’s all about the lighties man, especially the ones with dimples, jheeze!” They started benning and then my phone started ringing; it was my godsister Karina
“Hello…”
“I like the way you try ditch us before, I bet it was for man aswell you hoe,” she said rudely
“Shut up doe … man will fuck you up differently next time I see you init,” I started laughing “anyways, wah yuh wan?? Mi nuh have time fi yuh crawney self”
“You wanna come Westfield’s tomorrow??” she asked. I was contemplating it…
“Ermm … I dunno, I’ll holla you in the morning to let you know.”
“Aite bye” she locked off and I went back to listening to my jams
After a while, I clocked we weren’t driving back towards ends, but I kinda recognised where we were. We were like near Victoria station in London … skeen, these people must think I wouldn’t just jump out the car and jump a train home. Silly motherfuckers. We finally stopped in some Drive Thru McDonald’s car park. Kyle got out of the car and was making a phone call, and the other guy got out and went into the McDonalds. Kyle got back in the car and sat back in the driver’s seat.
He pulled one of my headphones out, nearly ripping my earring out in the process, and then said:
“Come sit up here”
I just screwed him and put my headphones back in. Don’t think this boy didn’t come and sit on the backseat with me, and drag me on top of him.
I was now lying with my head in his lap, and he was staring into my eyes...
“I really like you Ciara ... I know Tyrell’s probly gon bus a switch, but I want you to be my wife ... but I need to talk to him first.” He didn’t wait for me to respond, he just started kissing me...
“Oh shit, sorry. I’ll come back” out of nowhere, some random voice had interrupted our beautiful lipsing session. I looked up to see the other nigga, Rayvon, peeping into the car. I got up and wiped my mouth clean and put my music back in. Kemar got up and went back to the drivers’ seat. Rayvon came and got back in the car then we started moving again....
Before we went back to my house, we had to drop Rayvon at somene’s house, and Kyle had to go divide up the money with someone...
While he went into the house, I sat in the car, thinking about what he said ... first of all, my brother would probably skin me alive and then never chat to Kyle again, as for my mum.... well, let’s just say she’s never liked any of my brothers’ friends.
We went back to my house, luckily no-one was in but we went straight to my room... we had been jamming for a while when I suddenly heard the front door slam shut. I looked at the time; it was 7:30pm ... so it wouldn’t have been my mum coz she normally came home after nine....
I looked at Kyle, tryna work out a place he could hide....
“CIARA!! WHERE YOU AT BITCH?!” shit ... it was Tyrell
Kyle obviously clocked aswell coz he stood up tryna look for somewhere to hide. And before you say why didn’t he hide under the bed, my bed was too low for him to fit under ... I started pushing him towards the wardrobe when my bedroom door banged open. Tyrell was standing in the doorway looking confused....
“Why you in here g??”
Kyle was just standing there with his mouth open, tryna work out what to say obviously. Then Tyrell looked at my hair, which was bare messed up coz I had been running my hands through it.
“Why’s your hair fucked up like that .... And why the fuck are you two in here alone??” we both stayed silent. “SOMEONE BEST FUCKING ANSWER ME!!” then he looked at my bed, which I hadn’t made that morning, and then looked at the two of us, and I knew automatically what he was thinking. He thought I had beat him (I didn’t).
“YOU .. YOU FUCKING TWO!! SO WHAT YOU THINK YOU’RE BRAVE NOW, KYLE YEAH?? BREDRINS OR NOT I WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCK AROUND WITH MANS BABY SISTER AND STILL BE STANDING THERE LIKE A BADMAN!?” he started moving towards Kyle, like he was gonna hurt him, but I jumped in between them.
Tyrell tried pushing me out of the way but I weren’t moving nowhere... so he picked me up and dashed me out of his way, against the wall; I heard some nice connection from when my head hit the wall. He started moving towards me, but Kemar was tryna drag him back, but Tyrell was too strong and he threw him off.
“Ciara, I told you what I would ever do to you if you thought it was alright to become a hoe.” the way he wasn’t even shouting anymore was scaring the shit out of me... he started walking towards me again with some menacing look on his face and I was in way too much pain to beg for mercy....
“Oi, Seun, leave her the fuck alone man, these south niggas are more equipped than us. Put the fucking shank down” We were still in south London so I didn’t understand why he referred to Kyle’s niggas as south mandem.
‘Seun’ ignored him and said again, “what you got for me bitch??” I heard bare banging come from downstairs, and then some next nigga came up the stairs.
He took a gun out of his boxers and pointed it at ‘Seun’
“You best remove that shank before I have to put a bullet in you” Seun moved the shank from my throat and started laughing. His bredrin banged him in the face and went back in the yard. This mystery nigga took my hand and dragged me down the stairs, to where Kyle was on the phone.
“Yeah … these Stockwell niggas are fucking crazy … I don’t give a fuck, they put a fucking shank to my wife’s neck … listen yeah, stop fucking talking and get these niggas sorted out or I’ll do it myself.” He locked off the phone and walked towards me. He tried to hug me but I just pushed past him and got in the back of the car. The other guy got in the front, and then a car that was identical to ours came past and stopped next to Kyle. They spoke for a bit and then he came and got in the car.
I silently sat in the back of the car for the whole ride; I didn’t speak one word, just put in my headphones and blasted some slow jams…
“So since when did you become a one woman man bredrin??”... That was Kyle’s bredrin talkin…
“What you talking about bruv, who said I’m a one woman man” I heard them start benning and shit … skeen, is that how it is, yeah?? I just risked my life for this fucking nigga and he’s here chatting shit. SNM!
“You said she’s your wife so man just assumed init…??”
“Nah, nah … soon doe init” he caught my eye in the rear mirror and smiled but I just screwed him
“Skeen … you’re fucking obsessed with lighties man … you need to jump on some proper brown skin girls”
“Nah, nah … it’s all about the lighties man, especially the ones with dimples, jheeze!” They started benning and then my phone started ringing; it was my godsister Karina
“Hello…”
“I like the way you try ditch us before, I bet it was for man aswell you hoe,” she said rudely
“Shut up doe … man will fuck you up differently next time I see you init,” I started laughing “anyways, wah yuh wan?? Mi nuh have time fi yuh crawney self”
“You wanna come Westfield’s tomorrow??” she asked. I was contemplating it…
“Ermm … I dunno, I’ll holla you in the morning to let you know.”
“Aite bye” she locked off and I went back to listening to my jams
After a while, I clocked we weren’t driving back towards ends, but I kinda recognised where we were. We were like near Victoria station in London … skeen, these people must think I wouldn’t just jump out the car and jump a train home. Silly motherfuckers. We finally stopped in some Drive Thru McDonald’s car park. Kyle got out of the car and was making a phone call, and the other guy got out and went into the McDonalds. Kyle got back in the car and sat back in the driver’s seat.
He pulled one of my headphones out, nearly ripping my earring out in the process, and then said:
“Come sit up here”
I just screwed him and put my headphones back in. Don’t think this boy didn’t come and sit on the backseat with me, and drag me on top of him.
I was now lying with my head in his lap, and he was staring into my eyes...
“I really like you Ciara ... I know Tyrell’s probly gon bus a switch, but I want you to be my wife ... but I need to talk to him first.” He didn’t wait for me to respond, he just started kissing me...
“Oh shit, sorry. I’ll come back” out of nowhere, some random voice had interrupted our beautiful lipsing session. I looked up to see the other nigga, Rayvon, peeping into the car. I got up and wiped my mouth clean and put my music back in. Kemar got up and went back to the drivers’ seat. Rayvon came and got back in the car then we started moving again....
Before we went back to my house, we had to drop Rayvon at somene’s house, and Kyle had to go divide up the money with someone...
While he went into the house, I sat in the car, thinking about what he said ... first of all, my brother would probably skin me alive and then never chat to Kyle again, as for my mum.... well, let’s just say she’s never liked any of my brothers’ friends.
We went back to my house, luckily no-one was in but we went straight to my room... we had been jamming for a while when I suddenly heard the front door slam shut. I looked at the time; it was 7:30pm ... so it wouldn’t have been my mum coz she normally came home after nine....
I looked at Kyle, tryna work out a place he could hide....
“CIARA!! WHERE YOU AT BITCH?!” shit ... it was Tyrell
Kyle obviously clocked aswell coz he stood up tryna look for somewhere to hide. And before you say why didn’t he hide under the bed, my bed was too low for him to fit under ... I started pushing him towards the wardrobe when my bedroom door banged open. Tyrell was standing in the doorway looking confused....
“Why you in here g??”
Kyle was just standing there with his mouth open, tryna work out what to say obviously. Then Tyrell looked at my hair, which was bare messed up coz I had been running my hands through it.
“Why’s your hair fucked up like that .... And why the fuck are you two in here alone??” we both stayed silent. “SOMEONE BEST FUCKING ANSWER ME!!” then he looked at my bed, which I hadn’t made that morning, and then looked at the two of us, and I knew automatically what he was thinking. He thought I had beat him (I didn’t).
“YOU .. YOU FUCKING TWO!! SO WHAT YOU THINK YOU’RE BRAVE NOW, KYLE YEAH?? BREDRINS OR NOT I WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCK AROUND WITH MANS BABY SISTER AND STILL BE STANDING THERE LIKE A BADMAN!?” he started moving towards Kyle, like he was gonna hurt him, but I jumped in between them.
Tyrell tried pushing me out of the way but I weren’t moving nowhere... so he picked me up and dashed me out of his way, against the wall; I heard some nice connection from when my head hit the wall. He started moving towards me, but Kemar was tryna drag him back, but Tyrell was too strong and he threw him off.
“Ciara, I told you what I would ever do to you if you thought it was alright to become a hoe.” the way he wasn’t even shouting anymore was scaring the shit out of me... he started walking towards me again with some menacing look on his face and I was in way too much pain to beg for mercy....
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